A poem on that permeability topic
  • Maureen
    Posts: 675
    I say "poem", because the S sound appears too often for singing. Though of course I have a tune for it. :)

    Saints and angels sing around us.
    Perfect voices, Lord, they raise.
    Perfect sounds of joy unbounded,
    Perfect worship, perfect praise.
    You call us to join that chorus;
    Though imperfect, we obey.
    Open our lips, Lord, to praise You
    With them now, we humbly pray.

    Though we cannot hear the angels
    Or the saints in their arrays,
    Now we sing for you in snatches
    What we hope to sing always.
    Though we cannot sing it fully,
    Though our tongues are halt and lame,
    You are holy, holy, holy.
    Hallowed, hallowed be Your Name.
  • Kathy
    Posts: 5,500
    ExACTly!

    Slight metrical problems:
    line 5 You call us
    line 7 Open our lips
    line 12 always

    This poem/ hymn expresses exactly the sentiments that are lost when "worship" is a closed, human-only circle.
  • Pes
    Posts: 623
    Very good!

    Perhaps:

    At your call to join that chorus
    though imperfect, we obey
    lift our hearts, O Lord, to praise you
    hear them now we humbly pray

    First stanza is a supplication for a changed heart. The interior state preceding the exterior, as it were. Then the second stanza focuses on the singing:

    Though we cannot hear the angels
    or the saints in their arrays [very nice!]
    now we sing for you in measures*
    what we hope to sing always
    though we cannot sing it fully
    though our tongues are halt and lame
    hear our holy, holy, holy **
    hallowed, hallowed be Your Name

    * "snatches" is using a different kind of diction, sounded jarring to me
    ** Ending with an address.
  • Maureen
    Posts: 675
    Kathy --
    Actually, I meant it to scan "YOU call US" and "Open OUR lips". One of the great charms of English is emphasis as a shifter of meaning.

    But "always" cheats on the scansion, yes. :)

    Pes --
    I can't agree with you on "measures". The whole point of "snatches" is to talk about how fragmentary and unfinished things are at present. "Measures" is a much more musical word, I agree, but its connotations are wholly deliberate. It also sounds much less hasty; it's a slow, balanced word.

    I'm not sure what I think about your last suggestion.
  • Pes
    Posts: 623
    Hi Maureen, please, feel free to ignore them utterly! They are idle musings of a lunchtime brain.
  • francis
    Posts: 10,668
    Beethovens 9th immediately popped into my mind. A perfectly humanistic composition!
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