I know how you feel, Greg. I, too, have had some interesting peregrinations this summer. Mine (fortunately) were not as insufferable as yours seem to have been - they were all Episcopalian and Lutheran.

The Episcopalian one was predictable - 'Broad Church', no nonsense, good hymns from the 1982, and Proulx and Schubert for the ordinary. (I think that if I hear that Schubert mass another time I shall run screaming down the street. It is the most boring and maudlin of any of the masses I have ever heard. [I think that in the case of the Schubert, even Beethoven's Missa Solemnis would be preferable!].)

The Lutheran one was less satisfying but not too too bad. The ordinary was set to different hymn tunes. The pastor announced at the communion that 'this is a Lutheran table but it is God's sacrament, all are welcome. We have grape juice for those who prefer it and gluten-free wafers for those who need them'. The organ was a rather nice instrument of 25 or so ranks by Parsons, on which I played some Gaspard Corrette and an English voluntary by Anonymous the XIXth.

The last two weeks have found me at St Basil's Chapel at UST. This is always a very rewarding engagement. The people sing (and sing very well) all the stanzas of real hymnody from Worship IV, the Belmont Mass, and large parts of the dialogue and collects are sung - depending on the celebrant. The celebrant at this morning's mass had an absolutely divine voice.

I also subbed at Walsingham whilst our choirmaster was on holiday in Maine (oh how I envy him). Playing at the high mass at Walsingham is absolutely heaven on earth.

Plus, I normally play the Saturday vigil at Walsingham, for which I improvise voluntaries before and after mass and during communions. I also sing the propers to improvised chant. In addition, we sing the Merbecke with Old Scottish Chant Gloria. The people, of course, sing very well.

I believe that it was Viola who remarked on another thread that her Anglo-Catholic tenor referred to the mass at her church as 'like a Methodist service with incense'. Alas, that would be true of most down here in Houston - if they even have incense (or know what it is!).
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Perhaps some others on our Forum have interesting subbing experiences to share?

How about something by Father Faber?
from an online source:

"Among Faber's best-known hymns are:

Dear Angel, ever at my side, how loving must Thou be A hymn to the Guardian Angel
Dear Guardian of Mary[10]
Faith of Our Fathers This hymn originally had two versions: the English and Irish but is more commonly sung to the English with a slight alteration
Hail, Holy Joseph, Hail One of the most popular hymns to Saint Joseph
Have mercy on us God most High A hymn to the Holy Trinity. Most famously set to the same air as 'The Star of County Down'
I was wandering and weary
Jesus gentlest Saviour, God of Might and Power A hymn for Holy Communion
Jesus is God, the glorious bands (n. 298, The Church Hymn Book (1872)), written in 1862
Jesus my Lord, my God, my all! A hymn for thanksgiving after Holy Communion
Like the Dawning of the Morning Advent carol which describes the joy of Mary's expectation of the Infant Jesus
Mother of Mercy, Day by Day (1849) A Marian hymn on the importance of Marian devotion
My God, how wonderful thou art (1849) A hymn to the Eternal Father
O Blessed Saint Joseph
O Jesus, Jesus, dearest Lord (1848)
O Mother I could weep for Mirth! Joy fills my heart so fast A hymn to Mary Immaculate
O paradise! O paradise (1849)
O Purest of Creatures, Sweet Mother, Sweet Maid A hymn to Mary, Star of the Sea
Oh, come and mourn with me awhile(1849) A passiontide hymn with emphasis on Mary
O turn to Jesus, Mother turn A hymn calling on Mary for the aid of the Holy Souls in Purgatory
Oh, gift of gifts (1848)
Sweet Saviour, bless us were we go
There's a Wideness in God's Mercy
The Greatness of God
The Will of God/God's Holy Will
Faber was a supporter of congregational singing and wrote his hymns in an age when the English in general were slowly moving back to congregational singing after the strictness of low-church anglicanism. So Faber, as a Catholic, expanded the Church's hymns that were suitable for congregational singing and encouraged the practice."

Marty Haugen
Member of the United Church of Christ.
Education: Luther College
Genre: Christian/Gospel
Record labels: Oregon Catholic Press, GIA Publications, spiritandsong.com, Capitol Jazz, Cantado Music

We do Faber's hymns quite regularly and they go down well. Fr Caswall's are also worth doing.
I have good and bad experiences of subbing. Bad, when asked to play Bind us together at a wedding 'because it's a traditional Catholic hymn'.
Good or at least interesting: playing at the high Anglican church frequented by our Resident Heretic (see Sounds Familiar thread). The organ had to play more or less continuously to cover anything when there wasn't audible speech. Very good hymns, including Howells' All my hope on God is founded, also Praise to the Lord, the Almighty and Thy hand, O God, hast guided. Only problem was the tracker action organ which got heavier and heavier and heavier as more stops were drawn to cope with the inspiring hymns.

"Should your life attract or scare" isn't a bad motto, though.

And help you develop arthritis and joint problems.

And help you...

Good gracious!
There are no two tracker actions that are alike.
I've for decades played trackers, some of which felt like they had bricks for weights on the other ends of the keys, and some whose action was as touchy and sensitive as that of an electric typewriter, plus some which were so 'mushy' that one would think they had great sponges beneath the keys.
And - I have neither arthritis nor joint problems.
What I do have is a very good technique.
(Of course, there is never a very good technique which couldn't be better.)

(One of my grandmothers had serious arthritis and never played an instrument of any kind. Whether or not one has arthritis may be due to a number of biological factors. Playing musical instruments is not among these factors. One doesn't 'get arthritis' from playing an organ.)

Trackers make great firewood.

And help you develop arthritis and joint problems.

You might be confusing that with tubercular-rheumatic action.

...mostly in your own mind...

There is some truth, but also a red flag waves at popular dismissal of subjective feelings as non-valid because 'only 2% of people would feel that way'. I would be wealthy if I had a dime for every time such idiocy was tossed my way. What may seem to be merely subjective may very well be objective as well in that the few illustrate what the many would be better, or more nearly perfect, for having experienced or 'known'. (This 'maxim' can, and often does, work the other way around.) The number of people who feel or experience this or that way about this and that is not, ipso facto, a barometer of its objective worth and ontological differentiation for all. The degrees of knowledge which are held by a few, such as the Assumption of the BVM or the gradations of touch and tone on organs, are potentials for all, and therefore may be considered not Subjectives at all, but Universals.

The experiment of which you speak, Charles, does indeed tell us of human failings. I would contend that the nuances or gradations are there to be apprehended, though almost none apprehend them. There is sound (vibrating air) when the proverbial tree falls in the wilderness, even though no one is there to 'hear' it. Human apprehension has little to do with objective reality in regards to natural phenomena. This, ultimately, is an indicator of human failing, not objective reality. Microbes 'didn't exist'... until we had instruments that were able to detect them.

Your experiment, though, is interesting, and its results perhaps not surprising.
Like not offending Mother Nature with margarine instead of butter, it is also not nice to fool even experts by substituting 'b' for 'a'. Having fooled some says nothing about the objective reality of differences betwixt 'a' and 'b'.

Also, one would want to know whether these 'trained listeners' were hearing live sounds or recorded ones. Recorded sounds often easily fool even the elect because they are all electronically generated and heard through the medium of speakers; thus, one cannot hear whether the original sound source was electronic speakers or winded pipes. If the sound source and its means of production is different then the laws of physics prohibit the sounds from being identical or 'the same' or 'just alike'.

(Even I have been fooled a couple of times. My favourite recording of Saint-Saeans organ symphony when I was in college was Biggs's. After a number of years I read the small print on the back of the jacket and was informed thereby that the 'organ' in use was an allen. It was, I must say, a glorious sound - but it wasn't an organ - and I didn't at all like being made a fool of. I never listened to that recording again. It is definitely 'not nice to fool Mother Nature' people.)

I suspect he's referring to the Deutsche Mass adapted for English by Proulx.

I suspect...

Ha!
Ich doubteth vetter der messe in qvestion vould be any bedder ven sungen in its natif Deutsche radder dan der Englische verschion.
Its insipidity would survive any translation.

So D 872 would be the Baby Bear of masses? No satisfying some folks ;-)

MJO Thank's for your interesting news and comments. I believe that I subbed at that Lutheran church that you subbed at. I recall the organ.
WGS: I love Fr. Fabers' hymns and actually read a biography of his years ago.

The Schubert was adopted by Proulx and it was not intended, I believe to be a "high church' Mass...just a congregational one. It IS singable, there are good orchestral parts available....and at least better than the usual settings - of which they seem to be multiplying like some scary cancer. Everybody things that they can write a mass setting, and they all seem to have the same banal (MJO) names like
Mass of Celebration
Mass of Plenty
Mass of Happiness
Mass of banality
Mass of suburban boredom
Missa Looney

By the way, the one thing that cracks me up is the Miss Looney Gloria - the introduction bumps along in 4 time -and THEN, just before the congregation enters in the measure before they sing, there is a 3/4 measure! Brilliant! It fools them every time and prevents perfectly anyone coming in at the right time!

Brilliant! It fools them every time and prevents perfectly anyone coming in at the right time!

Ain't nothing brilliant about Misa Lunatic. Kolar should be taken out and soundly scourged.

Kolar?
I'm really not familiar with that -

Is it a brand of floor polish?

Or an additive for auto-mobile car engines?

Kolar?
I'm really not familiar with that -

I think it's the planet where Mormons say Jehovah lives. Right?

At the same conference I was laughed at for composing in Latin

Ahh, the fatuous complacency of intelligentsia in their twilight . . .

I wish it were an oxymoron, but no - that's why they're the treasonous clerks, Chickson. They laugh at their own heritage.

Anyone every have to play stuff from the "Introit Hymns for the Liturgical Year" book? For those who don't know this book, I provide an explanation: take a generic hymn tune and attach a modified version of the proper introit. Subbing one month, I had to play these and found them quite corny.

Not to be pedantic, but osteoarthritis can indeed be associated with overuse:

"Arthritis is a general term that means inflammation of the joints. Osteoarthritis, commonly known as wear and tear arthritis, is the most common type of arthritis. It is associated with a breakdown of cartilage in joints and can occur in almost any joint in the body. It commonly occurs in the weight-bearing joints of the hips, knees, and spine. It also affects the fingers, thumb, neck, and large toe."
https://www.webmd.com/osteoarthritis/guide/osteoarthritis-basics#1

Then there is the arthritis of the mind which can be induced by playing this stuff...
I wonder if my BlueCross covers that...

Myself especially.
After 20 years of encountering this stuff I should get some kind of medical relief.

I should pass along this little tale, tragic, but true. About twenty years ago when my wife and I were embarking on our little adventure of "full time" church music work and had taken our second position (paying a "full time" salary for two of $18540), a woman appeared in the choir loft and proceeded to relate that she had carefully rescued a church full of hymnbooks that were scheduled to be destroyed because some new ones had been purchased. After a few moments of talk, we asked what books she had saved. "Glory and Praise," she replied!
It has not gotten better since that time. The industry has gotten more commercial (I heard someone comment that they buy this stuff from 'composers by the pound), some of the charismatic influences have been very damaging, and the popular culture has invaded deeper and is firmly entrenched in far too many places. To fight it is a struggle-swimming upstream is not even close to describing it-but it must be fought in whatever way is given to us to do it. Continue to use your influence in any way that is given to you!

We can either give up or we can try to be lights in each of our little kingdoms. I admit it is sometimes a difficult choice. The sad think (well hardly the only) it seems that at one point the big publishers like GIA saw a potential commercial bounty in selling all these composers - who appeal to amateurs because they are amateurs themselves. I love amateur musicians, and we have them all in our choirs, but for the first time, companies saw the economic potential in selling simple bad music to these folks who could then somewhat tune up a guitar and become "Music Ministers". This repertoire is marked by harmonies and compositional "procedures" (too generous a word!) that would not pass the first exam in any music theory class. You now no longer need any music training to be a world famous 'music minister", you just put a few chords together with a melody on top and strum away, humming out of tune all the way to the bank.
I for one still believe that there is no shortcut to learning how the masters of the past wrote music. It is arrogant to think that this entire classical teaching of chant, harmony and counterpoint can just be tossed down the t#%$%^ and in place this...contemporary tripe appears.
I have seen so much...I recall a very well trained organist and choir director being forced to host one of these sacro pop stars in a concert at her parish. People said things like"well now, we will have some really great music" This organist was very gracious in hosting this amateur strummer, but nobody seemed to think that it humiliating the way that everyone praised the folkie, and were sad, that now we have to return to the dull fare of hymnody and chant.
Not that I have an opinion. Lol.