Sound familiar?
  • ViolaViola
    Posts: 321
    My apologies if this has apeared before but it was new to me, passed on by an Anglican colleague.
    It made me laugh anyway.
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  • Viola,

    Thank you for printing the text here. You say it came from an Anglican colleague. Do you mean a person who plays for the Anglicans, a person who professes the Anglican faith, both or neither?
  • ViolaViola
    Posts: 321
    An Anglican seminarian and organist who sings with us from time to time and is known as the Resident Heretic. He will be joining us for the Assumption.
    He is very high Anglo-Catholic and has said that our Sunday Mass is like a Methodist service with incense. Not being familiar with Methodist services I can't comment.
  • CharlesW
    Posts: 10,100
    My choir needs to see this.
    Thanked by 1tomjaw
  • JDE
    Posts: 584
    CharlesW,

    showing it to your choir would not go down well. There will be hurt feelings - the sensitive ones will think you're talking about them in particular. Best just to keep it among the professionals, believe me.
    Thanked by 3CharlesW tomjaw Elmar
  • Elmar
    Posts: 143
    Nice one, Viola, thanks for sharing!

    The tune is not common in my country, but there is a children's Saint Nicholas song to this meter, which I believe gives a nice fit to the message.
    Thanked by 1Viola
  • showing it to your choir would not go down well. There will be hurt feelings - the sensitive ones will think you're talking about them in particular. Best just to keep it among the professionals, believe me

    Seriously? I thought it was amusing. Some people really are sensitive.
  • TCJ
    Posts: 638
    I've said things like this before to my choir. If they're that sensitive then they shouldn't be in choir because they would never take instruction.
    Thanked by 1Elmar
  • StimsonInRehabStimsonInRehab
    Posts: 1,570
    This sort of thing wouldn't bother my choir. (Anyone would need a sense of humor in order to work with me.)

    Reminds me of the old chestnut that Jeff Quick found in some historical account of the Diocese of Portland's music program (set to the tune of "When a Felon's Not Engaged in His Employment" from Pirates of Penzeance.)

    I. When the enterprising choir gets to singing and sopranos start a
    quarrel o’er a song, the director’s head begins to a ringing, for his life indeed is
    not a happy one.
    II. When the keyboard will not answer very quickly and everything
    about the place goes wrong, the director’s air is hardly very spritely, for his lot
    indeed is not a happy one.
    III. When his stiff rheumatic joints can hardly wiggle, and the
    “Moosic” from the organ does not come, and “doesferyschtupidchvire
    members” giggle, the director’s life is not a rosy one!
    IV. When his poor old gouty toes on the pedals to not play the music
    in the manner that it’s written, and the noise that thunders forth doesn’t
    harmonize at all, the director with his job is hardly smitten!
    V. When sopranos will continue with their “schlurring” and the
    bass is very deeply steepd in “grime” and the altos from the key will keep a
    turning, the director does not have a joyful time!
    VI. When on show occasions everything goes vilely and the tenors
    are the bumest of the bum, the director shakes hi polished bald head wildly
    wishing most devoutly that he’d stayed at home.
    VII. But at lenth “dese aweful noises” ceases and “dose amateurs” all
    have homeward gone, the director’s face, the gay young maid then pleases, for
    he’s as game a sport as anyone.
    VIII. So he promptly ties him down unto the “Bismark” and then
    drowns all his sorrows deep in beer, Oogling ‘tween drinks the witching
    girlees “vaz blays Liebe Gott! like anchels down here”