Church Music Stand Up
  • I've always wondered: if bakers bake, painters paint, and miners mine, what do cantors do?

    Many excellent choir directors find that mic'ing a bad choir makes them louder.

    I have a soprano in my choir named Celeste. Don't you?

    I don't get no respect from my singers, no respect at all. I told the tenors they were sharp, and they said, "Hey, thanks, you're not too dumb yourself."

    But if you think that's bad, I nearly had a harassment suit on my hands when I told Celeste, you know, my soprano, about her pitch problems.

    I was pretty sick last week. When I PM'ed Gamba, I got the flue.

    I'm not too good at conducting. My fore pattern is much clearer on the golf course.

    The truth is, anything can be polyphony if your choir is bad enough.

    Actually, come to think of it, anything can be monody if your choir is bad enough, too. Everything except monody, that is.

    A member of the praise band once told me that he had something to ax me after Mass. I was genuinely terrified.

    The hippie priest that came the next year really did have something to ax me. A little piece of pink rose paper.

    That's all folks... please keep the roll rolling, if you can!
    Thanked by 1CharlesW
  • Richard MixRichard Mix
    Posts: 2,109
    Do you (stomp) mean those (whinny) who can?
  • Surely what the cantors do is CANT. (My grammar chequer wont install the apostroph, so I guess "cant" is a word for nonsense?)

    On the other hand, perhaps they canter, or trot or gallop?
  • Richard MixRichard Mix
    Posts: 2,109
    "cant" is a word for nonsense?
    Only when it's in Latin, I think.
  • 'Cant' and 'screed' are two words of similar meaning that could be applied to the tiresome people's tiresome carryings on about many a tiresome subject - say, for instance, the spirit of Vatican II, or so-called charismatics, etc. The cant of such carryings on typically exhibits phraseology, words, figures of speech, and slogans, etc., that are specific to the group in question.

    One supposes that 'cant' also can be used as a verb describing what cantors do - except that we have far, far too many cantors who can't cant worth a hoot. A better word for what cantors do is 'chant' - except that we have far too many cantors who haven't the foggiest about chant, but are skilled (if one can call it a 'skill') as pirouettists and arm flailers.
  • Jackson,

    So, they ciant?
  • ...ciant?
    Chris -

    I must be dense.
    I don't get this.
    Please enlighten me.
  • Jackson,

    I'm applying the idea that a "c" can be hard or not, depending on what follows it. The word "ciant" --which doesn't really exist, yet would be pronounced "chi-ant", as if the speaker were from somewhere near Knoxville, Tennessee. My own Christian name, when I lived in the former confederate states, frequently had an extra syllable: "Chris" frequently became "Chri-us".
  • GambaGamba
    Posts: 275
    When I PM'ed Gamba, I got the flue.

    How now?
  • CHGiffenCHGiffen
    Posts: 4,370
    Possible cure for the flue? Clear those stopped pipes off your chest. Some 2-2/3 ft Nazard spray might help, too. And don't be cowed by an 8 ft Clara Bella, either. When all else fails, pull out all the stops and Bombarde the offender.
    Thanked by 1mmeladirectress
  • CharlesW
    Posts: 10,510
    Maybe you need an emergency scharfectomy.