I was just thinking about this the other day. I used to do two Masses on Sundays to avoid this problem, but it became too onerous. I’m in the habit of going to frequent daily Mass, and try to find more creative ways to “pray” during Mass on Sundays, namely by being in the habit of making the intention to offer my singing (which really is sung prayers of the Mass and scripture), and meditating on the musicality of whatever our organist plays.

For years even before I joined our choir I figured this is probably a big problem for music directors, so I’ve also been offering my Sunday Mass graces and communions for music directors.

Yes it's true that going to another church and just being a quiet person there helps! Also it's good to know this is normal

I recently was feeling burnt out too. There was a special event at church on Saturday morning that I was invited to and I had to say no... I'm here more than 40 hours a week already. It's such a tough thing. It's your job, but you want to give it your heart as a parishioner, but it is all much more complicated than that. The 3rd time you've heard the Sunday sermon in less than 24 hours makes for a dull mass. You're certainly not alone. One of the reasons I attend the morning mass during the week is so I can "just sit in the pews" and actually pray and make spiritual offerings without all the other fuss that normally accompanies mass. It helps, although I still wish I was afforded more time away from the physical church structure at times. My office is in the church basement so I literally spend my whole week here which sometimes makes it feel long in the tooth. I recognize this is a failing on my part, however. I try to be very grateful to be so close to the Blessed Sacrament every day. At 3:00, for instance, I can turn to the tabernacle and say Divine Mercy prayers, and while a floor separates me from the Blessed Sacrament, I'm really only feet away which is a blessing to be sure.

Thanks you guys

>> Every church musician needs a yard, maybe that could go into the hiring contract.

was that a yard, or a yardarm.... :-)

>> -Remember what Aquinas said: love is an act of the will. Just because you don't "feel" it doesn't mean you still can't love it.

Amen, and amen.
I think anyone who has a complex and difficult work to do will feel a bit burned out from time to time. We're just human beings.
Retreat is a GOOD plan.
Also, how many are planning to combat these down feelings by going to Colloquium for a change of scenery, creative rejuvenation, and a lot of time spent near the tabernacle?

Yes I have been an equal opportunity hater lately.

I've been on the verge of losing my faith a number of times--more than I'd care to acknowledge, frankly.

YMMV, but I find the Novus Ordo frustrating from a devotional stand-point. Yes, it's wonderful that we have a 'High Mass' every day at my parish, and that the chant helps the meditation and prayer of the people, but when does the organist/precentor have time to pray and ponder when whenever he isn't playing or singing there is the constant blah-blah of word-salad coming from the reader or celebrant over the sound-system? I can't pray with a volley of verbiage bombarding my ears. What has kept me going over the past few years is a wonderfully providential TLM that I've fallen into. And lately, I have had the privilege to serve Low Mass for a priest almost weekly: that half-hour of near perfect silence makes me feel human again. Honestly, the most beautiful sound in the world is the silent Canon.

With as many children that Bach had, it wasn't trees he was watching! LOL

In answer to Salieri's concern above here, I always think of the music that we musicians make and offer at mass as a form of communication of the divine and a lovely treasure, an icon in sound, which is both offered to God and is for the aedification of his people. Such music is, I believe, divinely inspired, and, as such, is a profoundly prayerful act. Every note sung or played is, to me, an act of worship, a precious gem offered to God. Thus does my music making intensify, not distract, from prayer and worship. If one's music, movements, and thoughts are truly attuned to and 'in synch' with the ritual action they are definitely a part of that action. If ever I am 'just playing notes', that time is, indeed, the time to quit. For me the mass is so exciting, my music such an integral part of it, I am so caught up in the ritual, that I could never feel that my worship was compromised by it - rather, it is consummated.

A beautifully crafted music is like unto an Holy Icon written in sound:
Of Realms unseen it offers a Glimpse,
Whilst Those seen it casts in a Light more Profound.
- From my diary

(In common with several above who wrote of their 'challenged' faith. Mine has not always been without doubts. Most of the time it feels secure, but there are times when I must fight for it - and, in fighting for it it becomes more precious, more firmly founded. Like a broken bone, it is stronger after it heals. I think that this is a form of growth which God allows us to go through.)

this is why retreats are so needed. When you are discouraged, that whisper you hear is not your angel guardian. Turn away.

God made only one Bach, one Palestrina, one de Victoria,
and one Matilda.
But note well: He was pleased to make all of them, knowing what music they in turn would make for His honor and glory.

I have always felt that activity in church music helps me in times of weakening faith. Even when it does not help me directly in my own devotion, the idea that it helps people in the congregation (at least some, and I was lucky that there were always at least a few) is a consolation.

you're just Matilda, why would God need what you have to offer when He has Bach?

That's the beauty of it. God doesn't need Bach. God doesn't need me. He doesn't need you. He doesn't need a single atom of creation. He could've been perfectly content throughout eternity conversing with the Holy Trinity. But He didn't! He created us out of over-abundant love. Just think about that. GOD CREATED YOU - AND I MEAN YOU, MISS MATILDA - BECAUSE HE LOVED THE IDEA OF HAVING SOMEONE UNIQUELY LIKE YOU EXISTING IN THIS UNIVERSE! You are an object of unique, endless Love. Think about that over and over until it sinks in.

And above all else, you deserve an Internet Hug.

Thanks guys. I feel better about this.

One thing that doesn’t seem to have been brought up yet is that, as church musicians, you’re fulfilling one of the duties of you state in life, and there is merit in that even if you’re distracted throughout Mass and aren’t as devote as you would regularly be at Mass. It’s like parents at Mass having to attend to their children and take them out during Mass. Objectively speaking, there’s more merit in taking out your unruly child during Mass than staying there and letting little Johnny scream to high Heaven and cause a chain reaction with the other children in the back of the church.

the devil whispers in my ear, saying, you're just Matilda, why would God need what you have to offer when He has Bach?

Doesn’t matter what you’re doing. The devil is like that, particularly with women. It goes back to Eve in the Garden of Eden. Why else do you think the serpent went after Eve and not Adam?

I’d sit in the pew wondering if everything was set properly,

I’m not even a sacristan, and I sit in my pew at daily Mass checking if everything is set correctly and if the candles are lit before Mass starts. Sometimes it’s not, and all I can do is sit there and wait for the issue to manifest itself during Mass (ie: someone forgot to put the Tabernacle key in the Tabernacle, someone put the Last Gospel and Lavabo altar cards on the wrong side, etc)

There is something about going to a different church where no one knows you, and you can just sit there and pray and enjoy.

Definetely! Or on a different side, it is a real blessing to work in a church remote from the parish where you live (in spite of the long driving)!

Dear Matilda, You are certainly not alone and your honesty is refreshing. There are many excellent ideas above. For several years, I went to an 8am Mass and then drove twenty miles to my church position. That was an excellent practice. I also attended at least one evening liturgy in the course of the week. My situation has been vastly different since moving from a downtown community in a fairly large city to a small city where there are no options for liturgies aside from my parish. Most Sundays, I try to leave as soon after Mass as possible and avoid any conversations except for singers. This allows me to keep a reverent and thankful spirit for the remainder of my Sabbath which I keep very simple and quiet. We must regain an appreciation for the Sabbath, even if it means moving it to another time. If people need to talk with me, I am very accessible for remainder of week.

The worst part of that, MJO, is that often it is our own parishes and schools celebrating Christmas parties during Advent!

Hawkins,

Surely the proper greeting is "The Lord is Ris'n", and its reply is "He is Ris'n indeed, Alleluia!."

The church where I play on Easter has a new young wonderful pastor. He stood at the lectern and proclaimed "Christ is Risen!". The congregation mumbled confusedly in reply. So what did that wonderful young pastor do? He instructed them, and then tried it again. The second time they knew better!

Hawkins,

It's my wife (a cradle Catholic) who tells me it used to be, but that few remember anymore.

Maybe they're remembering what comes after the Regina Coeli

V. Gaude et laetare, virgo Maria, alleluia
R. Quia surrexit Dominus vere, alleluia

The accepted Latin is V. Surrexit Dominus. Alleluia! R. Surrexit vere. Alleluia!

But I do also have the impression that the invocation "Christ is risen"/"Indeed He is risen" is a borrowing from the Byzantines.

Yes, it is traditional with us. I couldn't swear no one else uses it since they may very well do so. However, our eastern churches are the only places I have heard it. It is the traditional greeting when we greet each other during the Easter season.

Christmas: Christ is born. Glorify him.
Baptism of Christ: Christ is baptized. In the Jordan.
Regular time: Glory to Jesus Christ. Glory forever. Or Slava Isusu Christu! The reply is Slava Na V'iki! in Slavonic.

Those are great ways for Christians to greet each other. If they spread beyond eastern churches I would consider it a good thing.