a new carol of mine: The Virgin Mother, Morning Star
  • m_r_taylor
    Posts: 326
    Hello all, I'm new here. I thought I might post my first attempt at a Christmas carol (with text co-written with a friend). I wrote it around Christmas 2017. Now that it's been sitting on my shelf for over a year, I want to consider revising the words as it's close to my first try at writing text, and I think there might be room for improvement on verses 1 through 3. The musical arrangement also needs a little fixing of some awkward spots and perhaps needs to be in 6/8, not 3/4. Included are two PDF versions in E flat. The recording I made with an iphone for an ensemble sight-reading it - the tune gets a tiny bit overpowered, but it still worked out all right. Any feedback welcome. -Michael

    https://soundcloud.com/michaelroberttaylor/the-virgin-mother-morning-star

    The Virgin Mother, Morning Star
    Rejoiced to see her babe
    The One she bore for many months
    In silence there He lay

    His face was sweet, His face was fair,
    Reflection of her own
    She never saw her own sweet face
    Until she saw her Son

    Sweet Jesus, may our faces be
    A mirror of Your own
    You the sun, and we the moon
    A light to break the gloom

    If you would seek the Father’s face
    Then look unto the Son
    Adore the Holy Child this night
    With Father and Spirit, one.
    The Virgin Mother - 4part ext in Eb.pdf
    82K
    The Virgin Mother - 4part in Eb.pdf
    60K
    Thanked by 7petrus_simplex M. Jackson Osborn CHGiffen sdtalley3 francis Anna_Bendiksen Elmar
  • petrus_simplex
    Posts: 72
    Beautiful!
  • CHGiffenCHGiffen
    Posts: 5,193
    This is splendid. I'd missed it before now (unfortunately).
  • francis
    Posts: 10,825
    very nice piece, @m_r_taylor!

    I am posting a few suggestions for smoother voice leading, but otherwise a great work.
    suggestions.pdf
    63K
    Thanked by 1m_r_taylor
  • m_r_taylor
    Posts: 326
    Thanks for the suggestions! I hadn't looked at this in a long while and have always considered revising after some time.
  • ServiamScores
    Posts: 2,890
    I have to tell you, Francis, I was stopped in my tracks by this line:
    She never saw her own sweet face
    Until she saw her Son

    In an age before mirrors, this is likely true. And we know Christ would have resembled Her, and that they both would have had exalted forms relative to other humans. This lyric bears long pondering.
    Thanked by 2Anna_Bendiksen CHGiffen
  • Schönbergian
    Posts: 1,063
    In an age before mirrors, this is likely true.

    ???
    Mirrors have been dated back to civilizations from at least 2000 BC...
  • francis
    Posts: 10,825
    Aha... missed this one... The third and fourth to last measures have a repeating pattern of parallel fifths of which I suggested a solution earlier in the piece.
  • ServiamScores
    Posts: 2,890
    Schönbergian, perhaps it would have been more prudent for me to say, "in an age before widespread proliferation of mirrors." I suspect they were hardly commonplace 2000 years ago. Mirrors as we would actually know them today weren't widely known until the innovations in Venice over 1000 years later.
  • Elmar
    Posts: 506
    ... ever had a look at a flat water surface, like a pond or just a vessel with a dark bottom?
  • ServiamScores
    Posts: 2,890
    VERY WELL. For heaven's sake. "Mirrors all around! On the house!"

    For the record, I doubt Our Lady spent any time staring at Herself like Narcissus.
  • Elmar
    Posts: 506
    Agreed - and I do like this piece!
  • m_r_taylor
    Posts: 326
    Thanks for all comments!

    The lyrics seem to have inspired some controversy. I take it as a sign that while the thought is nice, it still could use some revision.
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