A new tune to Phillips Brooks' "Tomb, Thou Shalt not hold Him Longer"
  • Please comment.
    This is a tune to a lovely text by Phillips Brooks. It's a tune which is most suited to an entrance hymn, probably (for those of you who can sing entrance hymns and Introits...)
    Generally, I'm unhappy with Bar 6. I find the stop there to be a little abrupt poetically, and I'm not sure what to do about it. Help on this point is appreciated.

    I may move the descant to verse 3 to let organists fancy up the last verse, but I'm not sure.

    This hymn is for a personal project.
    Thanks for your comments.
    Thanked by 1KyleM18
  • KyleM18
    Posts: 150
    I like the tune! I'm no expert, but maybe changing the alto line in bar 6 from a half note D to a quarter Eb - quarter D might help, so that it has some sort of movement in that line. (turns it from just a Gm chord to an Eb-Gm). It sounds fine in my head, so maybe?

    If it wasn't for your descant, I might change the tenor line from a half note Bb to a quarter C - quarter Bb. On second thought, it might still work with the descant as a Cm7-Gm cadence.

    EDIT: On second thought, moving the tenor line to a quarter C - quarter B is a better idea, after I listened to it. I might move the descant (since I assume the descant is sung while the rest of the choir is in unison) in bar 6 from a half note Bb to the quarter Eb -quarter D. Also, the transition from bars 8 to nine in the Alto and Tenor lines felt weird. I personally feel that they'd be better switched.
  • Richard MixRichard Mix
    Posts: 1,884
    I see what you mean. Instead of returning to the tonic I might try to set off the beginning of the 2nd couplet: "Strong(g)er(d) than(es) the(g) dark,(c) the(b) light,(bc)…"

    The parallel octaves at bar 1 almost confuse me about whether to sing parts or unison ;-)