Marriage and Funeral Planning Guides
  • Curious to know if anyone else has a guide to give to couples or families. This is what we have (Saint John the Beloved, McLean VA), feel free to copy/use/comment/etc.:

    Marriage Planning Guide: Music Selections

    Funeral Planning Guide: Music Selections

    Funeral Planning Guide: Reading Selections

  • I actually don't give music guides for weddings or funerals. I suggest the music based on the readings (funerals) and the make-up of the family (are they all Catholic, mixed Catholic/Protestant, younger, older, etc.). The funeral families are overwhelmed as it is so one more sheet of paper is just one more sheet of paper. They might have favorites, but if they don't mention them I don't ask.
    The wedding couple generally really cares, but won't remember the music anyway (the day is just too emotionally over the top). I tell them the music will be beautiful, they will be happy with it, but the most important part is the vows - so sit back, listen to me play a piece, and if they like it/don't like it, tell me as soon as they know so I don't spend a ton of time playing the organ. If they like it, we find a place for it to go in the liturgy. It takes about 45 minutes to plan a full wedding Mass, less for a service. Hope this helps!
    Thanked by 2CHGiffen PolskaPiano
  • KARU27
    Posts: 111
    James, I think your documents are really well done. I especially like the way you have offered the choice of quiet, meditative music, or strong and majestic. If I could offer one comment, which is that it may be more prudent not to put dollar amounts directly on the funeral planning guide (I notice they are not on the Nuptial Mass guide).
  • Caleferink
    Posts: 312
    (Admin: Somehow my original post got submitted twice. This was the second of them until I edited it to this. I can't delete it entirely, though.)
  • PolskaPiano
    Posts: 158
    Valerie- this is very similar to what I do with weddings as well!
  • I think there was a separate thread asking about wedding planning in particular, in which I shared this previously. Although we have a guidelines document, I also have found the attached to be useful as a way of planning weddings with a couple. It gives me a convenient way of mapping the music to a given couple, and of rapidly sharing information with the couple, organist, celebrant, etc. as necessary. As information is completed, I change the background so it is no longer shaded. I also have a longer version for myself where I track contact dates and keep track of notes from meetings.

    Since I'm almost exclusively EF, funeral music is typically straight-forward... something that I address via my standard music scheduling for the choir.

    Perhaps the wedding template might be of use to some of you.