At m. 7, are the differing cutoffs for T1 and T2 (singing the same syllable) intended?

Chonak,

Yes, it was intended, but do you think the piece would be better if the cutoff were the same?

Earl Grey,
(As it turns out, I'm sipping my tea as I write this).....

I think I can force the piece onto 3 pages, but I'll have to see how to do that. Additionally, there's a "pick-up" bar at the beginning of the piece which must be the result of user-program-interface-disconnect.

Anyone know how to make that sort of macro change in Finale?

I think I can force the piece onto 3 pages, but I'll have to see how to do that. Additionally, there's a "pick-up" bar at the beginning of the piece which must be the result of user-program-interface-disconnect.

Anyone know how to make that sort of macro change in Finale?

In Finale? Select the offending measure and then, Utilities-->Move to Previous System.

The pickup can be set under "edit," I think.

Gentlemen,

Thank you. Here's my updated/corrected edition. I can't figure out how to remove the pick up, yet, but I'll keep at it.

Inspired work! The E-minor chord on m.11 is beautiful, and the smooth return of Bb just two bars later shows a skillful stabilization of the modal scale.

Measure 5 seems to call for a stronger chord (e.g. D minor): since the F is a dissonant appoggiatura, what is there is really a repeat of the previous E diminished harmony. Likewise, the G-minor chord in second inversion does not deserve to be tied across the barline of m.16: although every voice moves, the harmonic effect is static.

In m.11, why not give the T1 the lyric "inaestimabile"? An entry in the high register is a perfect time to bring in new words, and the beautiful imitation at the octave in B1 will gain in cohesiveness.

The transition to the venerable cantus-firmus texture with a surprise C# at m.21 is another inspired moment, and it would be even more beautiful if the B2 were staying on an A, making a rich root-position chord as background for the B1 entry (which you can give the word "irreprehensibilis" if you like).

You will likely have better luck finding pleasing accompanimental voices in m.24 if you change the T1 note from C# to C. In general, with modal music like this, chromatic notes are more poignant the less often they are repeated.

The ending suffers from considerable range strain, with the low B2 struggling to balance the T2 and B1 in their falsetto ranges. Have you tried putting the 4th of the Asus4 suspension in one of the tenor parts? By the way, the cadence with a suspended 4th tends to sound best when the 4th is tied from the previous chord; check any piece of Renaissance music to see. (And don't be afraid to steal a Renaissance cadence if it fits; composers back then did it all the time, and no one will accuse you of plagiarism when there's so much inventiveness in the rest of the piece.)

Hope you enjoy working on these improvements, and best of luck in composing in the future!

Noeisdas,

You certainly may use it, but I would like to know that it has happened, with appropriate credit given.

Jesearle,

Yes, you may use it, with the same caveat as I have already given.