A WWYD question especially for those who perform in professional groups or direct one
  • FidemInFidebusFidemInFidebus
    Posts: 611
    A few months ago, several members including myself requested that today's orchestra dress rehearsal be moved to an earlier time because we have young children and today is Halloween. This has been a perennial problem in this group for years, and the only reason why is because the previous concertmaster had a time conflict and demanded that the Saturday dress rehearsals be moved to 3:30pm. He's been gone for at least three years now and there is no reason to have this time anymore.
    They did not move the time today for several complicating reasons, but I observed several people leaving early (as in they missed half the rehearsal) or who didn't show up at all. IN ANY OTHER GROUP this would be grounds for demotion or dismissal. My husband and I missed yet another year of trick or treat with our children, their grandmother took them instead. We sit principal and assistant principal and cannot miss. Even if we didn't and could miss, we would lose over $600-not an option for our budget. I am angry that our requests and those of others went ignored, yet some players were permitted to skip out. How the hell do you allow that? We are doing a Bach cantata and tonight was the ONE shot we had to run through it with the choir. I don't think they should be allowed to play it tomorrow, and at the very least should be moved to the back of our section. That's how it goes in other orchestras.
    We both intend to write to the director about the gross mismanagement and disrespect of time.
    As church musicians I know that many people on this forum know how hard it is to have to miss holidays and other family events because of our work, and we don't take kindly to having our time wasted when it's already a struggle to do anything normal together. Sigh. :-/

    If the offenders lost pay, it's still wrong but I don't really care. I'm more concerned that the director did not care or even notice the ones that left before intermission and that they will receive full pay for half the work. How would you approach this problem, and all the rest of it?
  • chonakchonak
    Posts: 9,157
    How bothersome, in more ways than one!

    To start with, if it's only a problem on Halloween, you may get some relief, since Oct. 31 doesn't fall on a Saturday again until 2020. (Depending on the age of your kids, they may or may not still observe Halloween by then!)

    Are there any other days you might need to think about: does the orchestra ever play on January 1, so that you'd be rehearsing on Dec. 31? That will be a Saturday at the end of 2016.

    By the way, are you sure the director didn't notice who left?
  • FidemInFidebusFidemInFidebus
    Posts: 611
    Well, they will be 15, 14, and 12 by then and probably still going LOL! Or at least going to friends' parties or something. Thankfully this is the only major time conflict with this group.

    I don't know if the director knows who left so I planned on mentioning it, but also plan on mentioning the blatant unfairness if she did indeed give permission. But I'll wait to see what her response is to the first question before I unload...

    I instituted a ban on Christmas Day and New Years gigs in our house after years of angry fighting with my husband for taking too many of them. There isn't a gig in the world that could pay enough for me to break that rule.

  • MichaelDickson
    Posts: 419
    Proviso: It isn't entirely clear to me from your post what the situation is. (For example, did those who did not show up suffer a financial penalty?)

    I'm no longer a professional musician, but when I was, I certainly would have shown up to rehearsal -- I was on salary and that was my job. (I don't care one whit about Halloween, but if I did and I knew that there were others in the orchestra who do, I'd make that fact known.)

    Perhaps there are professionals and non-professionals in the group, and mainly the former showed up? Then yes, this was in one sense a waste time, and for anybody who cares about the performance, that waste is frustrating. On the other hand, you were paid to do what you did.

    In the end, you are the employee, and you can make suggestions about how things could be done better, but if the director, or whoever is in charge, prefers the status quo, you have only two choices (stay or go).
  • kevinfkevinf
    Posts: 1,183
    I instituted a ban on Christmas Day and New Years gigs in our house after years of angry fighting with my husband for taking too many of them. There isn't a gig in the world that could pay enough for me to break that rule.


    So does that mean people who come to Mass on Christmas day should be denied music? I raised two children and we understood that was part of the job. Its no fun sometimes but every job has advantages and disadvantages. I am not trying to be mean, but it is part of our vocation.
    Thanked by 1M. Jackson Osborn
  • FidemInFidebusFidemInFidebus
    Posts: 611
    Neither of us had positions that demanded we do it. I will never accept one that demands it, either. He would get calls from local churches to do three or four Christmas Eve services and then leave at 7am to do three more. I spent several Christmas mornings alone at home with the kids because he was gone at dawn with the car. It was devastating. Plainly put, he didn't know when to say "no" and it was having a severe impact on our marriage. I understand it's part of the vocation but enough is enough sometimes, and I have every right to set the standards and limits in my household. Rant over... :)
  • Richard MixRichard Mix
    Posts: 2,767
    I heard a similar story once somewhere or other.
  • FidemInFidebusFidemInFidebus
    Posts: 611
    Point taken, Richard, but I stand by what I said. I don't need to go into all the gory details but again state that this was an extremely dark time in our life and for many reasons sacrifices were made and rules set in place to prevent further grave damage. We are very happy with our arrangement and continue to prosper as musicians, even if we only play 364 of 365 days. :)

    In a happy update, the offending members were not permitted to play the second half of yesterday's program and, we assume, had their pay reduced. I feel somewhat better. Somewhat...lol
  • BruceL
    Posts: 1,072
    This is tough, isn't it?

    I had my assistant play the anticipated Mass this past weekend so I could help out on Halloween. I have three boys under the age of 5, so this is a tricky thing. My wife knew about it "going in", but I'm not sure she'll ever just decide to make peace with it!

    It is frustrating, but as others have mentioned, it is part of the deal. The part that gets frustrating is when it is not communicated to the musicians in a timely fashion. This happened once when the rector requested choir for New Year's Eve, moved the Mass to dinnertime (!)...then wasn't even in town for the Mass! In those cases (since we are a majority-volunteer choir), I had the volunteers go and raise...something...with him. With an all or mostly pro group, I would have been fine with it, and certainly I expect myself to be at those occasions, just as one would a doctor on call, or pilot, or firefighter, or...
  • FidemInFidebusFidemInFidebus
    Posts: 611
    Yes Bruce, I agree there. The issue in my original post here dealt with a professional orchestra and certain members being given permission to miss and not others if only because they weren't sitting principal chair. It just wouldn't be allowed in any other group I perform with. I was in a nasty car accident about 11 years ago and was too sore to attend the following day's dress rehearsal, so I had to miss the concert completely. Rules are rules and I didn't ask for special treatment like these people did.

    Maybe I wasn't clear enough before, but these were basically independent gigs that my husband took on Christmas-not a salaried, contracted job that says "you MUST do this" like most of us here have, and therefore wasn't "part of the deal".

  • SopranoViolin
    Posts: 33
    Are you a part of your local AFM? Would it make a difference?

    ...I think being married to someone who plays your same instrument and is co-principal in your section (or is at least in the same orchestra) is a huge blessing when it comes to difficult situations like this...at least you're not going through this alone!
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