I was in a similar situation about two months ago. I ended up leaving my position as DM. Here's what you need to consider: 1. Is this affecting your spiritual life and relationship with Christ? If staying on is just stressing you out and making your prayer life more difficult, then shake the dust from your sandals.; 2. Are you in a position where you can immediately sacrifice the income, however little it is? Some of us make our livings doing exactly what you are doing, and we can't afford to just up and quit, and you haven't suggested that, either.

My two cents is that in a position like that, you cannot make a difference because your decisions will just be overturned by the PTB (powers that be). That's essentially what happened to me. You may have, as Noel Jones would say, a "sacred cow" issue as well.

Be looking around for something else, if you need the money. Then say goodbye to all with a smile on your face.

I will pray for you. I understand your situation very well -- it is almost precisely the situation that led to my leaving my former parish, a very small parish in which somebody like me could serve as 'organist' (I do not consider myself a true organist, but I know to play within my limits) and sometime cantor.

In my estimation, the priest (a wonderful man, and indeed a wonderful priest, in many respects) simply knows nothing about sacred music, and he only wanted it to be handled smoothly and reliably, whether by "Gather Us In" or chanted propers didn't matter. I think that this situation is more common than we sometimes realize -- many, certainly not all, priests whom I've met just want the music to happen without drama.

Financially, it was easy for me to leave (music is not my primary source of income, not even close), but personally it was very difficult to leave a parish and priest both of whom I treasured in other ways. The deciding factor was the issue already raised. Spiritually, the whole situation was not healthy, to put it mildly.

Here's the upside: there's nothing like leaving a parish of 10 years for the sake of music to heighten one's sense of why sacred music is important. For me, this heightened sense has led to dedicated and edifying study of the matter at a level that I had not pursued before.

And here is, perhaps, a ray of hope for you: There are parishes that will appreciate what you are trying to do. Have faith that there are. I found a wonderful parish that is far from perfect, musically, but is, on balance, committed to moving in the right direction. They saw to it that I was properly trained in chant, and now I am privileged to pray with them by chanting all of the propers and singing worthy polyphonic music. Since I have been here, nobody has been 'born on the breath of dawn', God has 'formed in wonder' no 'children of the universe', and nary a new church has been sung into being. Yes, there is hope.

If you are not tied to this job for financial reasons, consider that an amazing blessing and leave! Don't be a martyr.