Funeral rates?
  • jbmusicrose
    Posts: 40
    So we have a bit of a micromanaging pastor at the parish. I'd like to increase my funeral rate and since the parish budget does not have any bearing on my rate (all rates controlled by funeral homes), do I really need to ask permission (especially since this idiot likes to regularly deny employees small raises, stipend parishioners for various things, etc.)? I guess I'm trying to look for a pros/cons sort of listing with some convincing arguments (doubles points for not asking permission! haha)
  • matthewjmatthewj
    Posts: 2,700
    So we have a bit of a micromanaging pastor at the parish. I'd like to increase my funeral rate. and since the parish budget does not have any bearing on my rate (all rates controlled by funeral homes), do I really need to ask permission. (especially since this idiot likes to regularly deny employees small raises, stipend parishioners for various things, etc.)? I guess I'm trying to look for a pros/cons sort of listing with some convincing arguments (doubles points for not asking permission! haha)


    Communicate well with your boss.

    Talk to him about the stipend issue.

    Don't post insulting things about him online.

    Now go forth in peace.
    Thanked by 3Spriggo Adam Wood ryand
  • chonakchonak
    Posts: 9,216
    I hope your pastor will look on it as an opportunity for you to be happier without the parish paying anything.
    Thanked by 1Adam Wood
  • CharlesW
    Posts: 11,980
    I understand wanting to increase your rate. I have charged a low rate for funerals for years because, (a) I don't really need the money and (b) I felt some prevailing rates were a bit high for ordinary folks to pay. HOWEVER, I found some families were rate shopping among churches to see where they could get the best deal. I would charge nothing for someone who is destitute, but am considering increasing rates for those I know can pay.
    Thanked by 1M. Jackson Osborn
  • Kathy
    Posts: 5,509
    What I might consider doing is making sure that the rate increase will put me on a par with the rest of the musicians in the area.
  • Adam WoodAdam Wood
    Posts: 6,482
    1. Set your rate at 150% of what you think is fair.
    2. Learn to say the following:
    "My usual rate is X, but I understand this is a difficult time for many families. If you can't afford that, please pay what you can. If you can afford a little more, that will help cover the cost of other people who are unable to pay the usual rate."
    3. Really mean it, and be happily expectant that some people will not be able to pay.
    4. Be surprised and gratified when more than half of families pay you twice what you asked for.
    5. Profit.
    Thanked by 1JL
  • matthewjmatthewj
    Posts: 2,700
    Wood isn't taking into consideration that these things are usually bundled together. The funeral home collects $X and distributes it in stipends to the musician, priest, altar server(s), parish, etc. The funeral director isn't going to sit down with every family and say "oh the organist at St. That Parish says that he understands this is a difficult time for many families. If you can't afford that, please pay what you can. If you can afford a little more, that will help cover the cost of other people who are unable to pay the usual rate."

    Thanked by 2Adam Wood Gavin
  • Kathy
    Posts: 5,509
    Our funeral directors in the DC area used to itemize.
    Thanked by 1canadash
  • canadashcanadash
    Posts: 1,501
    Perhaps you can find out what the going rate is by asking the funeral home directly. I did this once, purely by accident, when I had to play a funeral at the funeral home. I was having a casual conversation with one of the employees and he told me how much others charged. That's when I realized our regular organist (and then I, by default) required a raise.
  • Adam WoodAdam Wood
    Posts: 6,482
    Wood isn't taking into consideration that these things are usually bundled together. The funeral home collects $X and distributes it in stipends to the musician, priest, altar server(s), parish, etc.


    True. I have worked in smaller, less organized parishes where this wasn't the case.
  • jbmusicrose
    Posts: 40
    So first of all, this is a VERY rich* area/parish and the rate I would ask is "in par" with the rest of the rates in the area. In addition, the rate asked for IS fair--I am the designated "liturgist" working with each of the bereavement committee members for EACH funeral; every funeral has a worship aid that is prepared DIFFERENTLY for EACH funeral tailored to music, readings, etc. I understand being "grateful" guys but c'mon--this is our profession and we need to be compensated fairly. Unless you are a volunteer church musician and giving your time to service your parish, these things need payment--we are contractors for liturgies like this, are we not? If they don't like it/appreciate it, then they don't really need to have the music..

    All joking aside, a teacher doesn't teach for free. Why would we be expected to play for "free"?
  • MichaelDickson
    Posts: 419
    Did anybody suggest that you should play for free, as a rule? If so, I missed it.

    I'm a teacher. Sometimes I teach for free. Sometimes I get paid for it. The latter makes the former possible.
    Thanked by 1Gavin
  • CHGiffenCHGiffen
    Posts: 5,193
    a VERY reach area/parish
    Is this a spelling/typographical error?
  • Kathy
    Posts: 5,509
    Do you have time during your regular office hours to do all the admin tasks mentioned above?
  • GavinGavin
    Posts: 2,799
    I have never, not once, found a family unable to pay for a funeral. I've worked in rich areas. I've worked in poor areas. I've played for funerals in Catholic, Methodist, Presbyterian, Episcopalian churches. I've worked in urban, suburban, and rural areas. No one has EVER failed to come up with my stipend in 13 years.

    Once I have had a pastor (at a rural Catholic church) communicate to me that a family may not be able to pay all stipends, and that the parish may make up the rest of my fee if necessary. But even then the family made the payment.

    I understand the desire to be all nicey-wicey and say "I reeeeally don't want to charge you allotta money in your time of grief..." I just don't see that it's necessary, especially with all the other costs of funerals. With all the money spent on graves, caskets, cremation, flying people in, etc., surely the family can come up with any reasonable fee for musicians.
  • CharlesW
    Posts: 11,980
    I am going to talk with the lady who plays a number of funerals for me. We need to raise our rates. Having been stiffed on the fee a couple of times already, I am going to write into the procedure that the money has to be deposited with the church office in advance.

    If I encountered someone who really was destitute, I would waive the fee. That has happened, but it is rare.
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