What PGA said. Speaking as someone who has to work superearly and late hours (yuck) from home (OK, that part's not so bad) for my day job whenever I get the call for a funeral, I would be entirely incensed if that happened to me. I'm very fortunate that it hasn't yet.

so I'm glad that this forum is mostly anonymous:

Oh well. I was hoping that PGA might find something on which to agree.

Yeah it was the parish office... The secretary who hired me was as astonished as I was- perhaps even more. I have my sneaking suspicions that some one gave out info they weren't supposed to. We happen to be temporarily short of staff here, as our md is on leave. This leads me to believe that the presider had contact with the family and mentioned something along the lines of "the person who normally plays funerals is out." without respect to the fact that the office staff handles funeral music. That would lead to the family hiring their own people, and exonerate the staff members here. The clergy man is a sort of sub boss of the liturgy in between us and the pastor, although he is totally hands off, and in fact the pastor is tending to us musicians while the md is out.
It was a disappointing event, the best I could do was politely let the secretary know I showed up before leaving. I am enjoying low blood pressure, so I don't intend to confront anyone else about the matter.

Our pastor instructed two of us players to expect calls for funerals while the md is out, and the other priest was copied on that. He's not that easy to work with, the type who's like a pill you have to swallow every few Sundays. Don't know anything for sure about supposed conversations, but he's my big suspect. The pastor is real cognizant of state laws barring talk of personnel matters anyway, and I sorta doubt he had any contact with the family.

It might be good to drop the pastor a note to let him know what happened. Since he sounds like a considerate boss, he might want to head off any repeat of the mistake.

I've sung for funerals of family members in the past, so maybe the family asked some relative to play at the last minute and neglected to tell anyone. I can see that happening. "O wouldn't it be lovely if Johnny sang the Ave Maria for grandma, she used to love the way he sings". etc.

Even though the same "double booking" circumstance occasionally might happen, I'm convinced that the primary agency contracting for services at funerals should be the chapel and not the church. The bereaved generally have much more administrative matters handled by chapel staff. Chapel staff is, ahem, in this specific business whereas church personnel have myriad duties. Chapels can do the 1099's for music providers, etc. They can be (and in our case) are the hub of information contact and communication between family, church and musician. When we have had the occasional snafu, it inevitably was a result of church staff (including clerics) assuming decision making roles regarding music providers without consultation with the chapel and musicians.
This doesn't help CB, but it is a possible solution that his/her priest/pastor could consider implementing.

I'm sorry, CB, and agree that a conversation, probably in person,
with the staff or pastor, is not unreasonable at all. I'd make it along the lines of, "I understand this is probably nobody's fault, and I was happy to go with the wishes of the family. My time is valuable, and so in fairness, how might I go about recovering all or part of the income lost to me?"

If certainly let the MD know. If that happened to someone who subbed for me, I'd really want to know and make some sort of reparation.

Agreed with Melo about the need to connect with the funeral home. I also connect with the family via phone or email.
It shouldn't have to be that way, but I've had too many experiences like this.