The best advice in being pastoral was something I read from Liam years and years ago:

Never change anything in your first year.

When I first read it, being more prone to jerkiness than I am now, I found this rubbish - cantor-songleaders are a disgrace and need to go THIS Sunday! I'll NEVER play a song on piano! The choir folders are the wrong color!

However, I've followed this dictum at my current position with great success. I'd say this is a good start in being pastoral.

This is unjust http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_RMP5gGGaNA0/S5_NCEtj6UI/AAAAAAAAEEY/eUmLFKDY4kI/s320/1+saints.jpg

Kathy,

In this case, "law" is based on principles, including justice, which a Christian should adopt as a way of thinking and living, not merely as a checklist. Here's what I mean:

We should always give our best to God (following the commandment "thou shalt love the Lord thy God....") and should never allow anything unworthy of the worship of God to enter into our worship of Him. We don't owe God a liturgy (or a musical expression within same) which puts ourselves at the center and God on the periphery. Liturgy is received, not invented, since it is, by nature, ritual public worship - instead of spontaneous individualized anything. If our liturgical practice is to treat the Mass as all about "us" -- whoever that "us" is, this is unjust, and must, therefore, be halted. One can discuss the most effective way to bring about real change, but one can't assert that the principle of "inculturated" worship trumps the principle of revealed truth. There is plenty of room for a variety of rites within what I've described, but no room at all for the horizontal to the exclusion of the vertical aspect of worship.

Chris,

Word up. I agree with you wholeheartedly.

Kathy,

If I were a priest and well-intention school children presented me with that chasuble to wear on All Saints day, I'd suck it up and wear it (once). After I was ordained the wonderful parish where I interned presented me with one of those "children of the world" stoles when I went back to preach there, which I happily put on and wore for all the Masses that weekend. I have not found occasion to wear it since.

If I were a pastor and came into a parish where that stature were in place, I would wait a year to find out a) how long it had been around, b) who gave it, c) to whom was it dedicated, e) who, if anyone, had any particular devotion to it. Depending on these findings, I might wait another eleven years, happily crowning that hideous statue each May, and saving my money, so that at the end of my twelve-year tenure, having worked as hard as I could for the parishioners, I could give them a new statue of the Blessed Mother as my parting gift to the parish (the old statue could be moved into the Pastor's office). Of course, if I found out that no one had any attachment to the statue, I'd replace it much more quickly.

Kathy,

Don't be so dismissive of warm and friendly. It works better than cold and hostile. Plus, I don't get paid.

Deacon, I'm frankly shocked that you would don a vestment that you knew to be unworthy of the liturgy in order to please a crowd, especially of impressionable children. There are a million good ways to show your appreciation for a gift. But the liturgy is not ours to use in that way.

I'm frankly shocked that you would don a vestment that you knew to be unworthy of the liturgy

I guess I don't consider a vestment made with love and good intentions to be intrinsically unworthy of the liturgy. I would certainly have a talk with the children's teacher afterward saying that vestment-making is best left for more skilled hands and that in the future the teacher should check with me before having the children undertake such a thing. But if it were already made and the children had been told that Father would wear it? Hell yes I'd wear it. It's not like it's got a picture of Miley Cyrus on it.

I'm not sure anyone considers me pleasant and avuncular (except, maybe, my nieces and nephews). But I also see another norm in certain Catholic subcultures, which is the harda**, no-nonsense, don't-tell-me-about-your-feelings priest (who seems to have an obsession with guns and survivalism--yes, I'm looking at you, Fr. Zed), who sees it as some sort of sign of authenticity if you get people offended. I really see no virtue in this. Indeed, I worry it is the vice of anger masquerading as the virtue of zeal.

I agree that talking with the teacher would be the best approach. Children don't come up with these ideas on their own, most of the time. There is an element of being hospitable that is important.

If I have food when invited to someone's home and they forget I am a vegetarian - have been for at least 30 years - I don't panic and throw a fit if there happens to be some meat in a dish. I just eat it and resolve to not have that food again, or put myself in that situation. It is not always possible to tell what is in a dish ahead of time, but I think it might be a sin (minor) against hospitality to berate someone for what was a well-intentioned mistake.

I would not accuse Deacon Fritz of being a member of the "Can't We All Just Get Along" branch of American Catholicism. I don't think he'd be convicted on the indictment.

Regarding the general misunderstanding of what people need in clergy and how this need goes generally unfilled, I hope others who agree may chime in.

Kathy -- I do agree. A sad example I see often is funerals becoming mini-canonizations or "a celebration of so-and-so's life." It does not happen at my parish, thankfully, but when I sub as an organist at other parishes I see it all the time. It's designed to make the living feel better at the expense of the dead. You would think, after going to a funeral in your average Catholic parish, that Christianity means: Jesus rose from the dead, yaaaay, everybody goes to heaven no matter what.

What will provide true comfort and hope to those in the pews at a funeral -- what is really "pastoral"? Trite, "inoffensive" phrases that address merely superficial emotional pain, or preaching the scandal of the Cross, where true hope is found? The latter can be done right in a way that draws people into the mystery, but there will always be those who automatically turn away at mention of sin, sacrifice, etc. "He who has ears, let him hear." If a few listen and open themselves to the truth of the Gospel by it, it is better than offering bland food to everyone.

Regarding the general misunderstanding of what people need in clergy and how this need goes generally unfilled, I hope others who agree may chime in.

Basically, K, I've been dealing with this for about six months since a major pastoral change, and it is extremely purgatorial pour moi.
You know "me" likely better than most here, and despite resolution after resolution to behave in a CSLewis manner as KLS describes, inevitably there remains some sort of fissure to chasm to gorge gap between my efforts to foster honest collegiality and collaboration through honest, truthful but polite dialogue, and the reaction/outcome of the corrections needed by both cleric and staffer(s.)
To be brief, I almost did a Snoopy dance when I read John Allen's interview with Cdl. George concerning his feelings and relationship with HHF. Long time comin'. I hope Cdl. George's clarion isn't a day late and dollar short in terms of affecting leadership and governance. Why I think this is significant is that my observation leads me to conclude that priest/pastors (and perhaps bishop to pastors) are loathe to instruct, question or lead their peers because of some weird concept of "brotherhood." It's never been more on display than of late, what with Burke's situo and the ineptitude on display in Baltimore last week.
And as I blithely said in the earlier last post, here locally when I e'er so politely try to school clergy who need schoolin', I will always remain The Jerk (apologies to Steve Martin.) It's purgatory I tell ya! ;-)

Chonak,

Genuinely puzzled by your comment, I ask you to explain which person in the story you considered insane.

Cheers,

Chris

Scripsit CGZ:

Genuinely puzzled by your comment, I ask you to explain which person in the story you considered insane.

Is it not clear who's the nut in the story you related? If you're really not sure, I was referring to the fussy person who treated statues as presenting clothing guidelines.

Any parish may have a few cranky people, and I suppose this is why wise pastors occasionally take a moment to warn them against fussing at others about clothing or about noisy kids or about taking someone's favorite seat.

I agree and disagree with much that has been written here, often within the same post.
I agree that it is foolish for funerals to become just a "celebration of so-and-so's life". At Fatima, the Blessed Virgin said that so many souls go to hell because they have no one to pray for them. What, however, is "merely superficial emotional pain"? Poor choice of words. I am truly perplexed by phrases like this. Pain, whether emotional or otherwise is never mere to the person who feels it. We have to show empathy and patience with those, who through ignorance (not through hardness of heart) miss the purpose of the funeral mass.

dad29 wrote: "It is too often the case that mis-informed (often, actually, UN-informed) "feelings" dominate conversations about which facts and evidence are far more appropriate to the discussion. Feelings are nice, but they are no substitute for what is." I agree, BUT since people don't always react as I would prefer, I have found that great amounts of patience are needed before the point that conversations can be had reasonably and lead to a teaching moment about the Mass, etc. Ironically, in my experience children can be more reasonable than adults in situations like those. As always, YMMV.

On August 19, 1918 towards the end of the apparition in the plain field called Valinhos, Sr. Lucia asked Our Lady for the cure of the sick who had begged her intercession. “Some I will cure during the year,” the Lady said; then gazing down at them, she added, sadly, “Pray, pray very much. Make sacrifices for sinners. Many souls go to hell, because no one is willing to help them with sacrifice.” I used the word "pray" instead of "sacrifice".

But I also see another norm in certain Catholic subcultures, which is the harda**, no-nonsense, don't-tell-me-about-your-feelings priest (who seems to have an obsession with guns and survivalism--yes, I'm looking at you, Fr. Zed), who sees it as some sort of sign of authenticity if you get people offended. I really see no virtue in this.

I like Father Zed, sometimes, but he's too... Tridentine for my tastes. I don't mean he likes the TLM, but his attitude is very Counter-Reformation in its zeal. He doesn't seem to realise sometimes that we're not actually battling Protestants, Heathens and Atheists to the death anymore.

Praying for the souls of the dead allows us to participate (there's that word) in the saving work of God.

I like that approach.

He doesn't seem to realise sometimes that we're not actually battling Protestants, Heathens and Atheists to the death anymore.

I think we have a bigger enemy in Islam, if we get our heads out of our politically correct behinds long enough to call a spade a spade. The Protestants are not really a threat to us anymore. They seem to shoot themselves in the foot more than they threaten us.

Agreed. I've seen enough weird non-denominational services to know that. And the Evangelical Lutherans' poor taste in liturgical décor.

We have Evangelical Lutherans and Missouri Synod Lutherans in my city. They don't seem to have a very high regard for each other. I don't think they interact very much, or so it seems.

LCMS Lutherans don't recognize ELCA Lutherans as properly Lutheran.

Just like Protestants don't recognize the Pope as the Vicar of Christ, Jews don't recognize Jesus as the Messiah, and Baptists don't recognize each other at the liquor store.

LCMS Lutherans don't recognize ELCA Lutherans as properly Lutheran.

My LCMS grandmother (may God forgive her heresy and facilitate her entry into Glory), on hearing some position or another of ELCA: "Why, if they believe that, they aren't even Chris-tee-an!"

Direction?... The church can't seem to agree on much of anything related to music these days.

The church?... or the jerks presently in charge? (and that doesn't necessarily mean clergy as much as beaurocrats)

I figure this may be able to land under this topic... so here it goes...

I was at two Catholic funeral Masses for a couple members of family on my wife's side. Both had their own "unique" situations... both in the same Arch as I live in and go to Mass in....

The one three weeks ago was at a Parish that had a guitar playing Nun as their music director (I keep thinking of Sound of Music for some reason). They used Mass of Creation, they had piano, choir, and upwards of two guitars used at the same time. It was one of the folkiest Masses I have been to. Not to mention, they did not have kneelers, and I couldn't find any area where I could bless myself with holy water. I kept telling my wife that I would just wash my face off in the baptismal "pool"... which literally was a pool, as my blessing. It just was tacky... and sad to see this kind of funeral around... in which I have been used to Catholic funerals that were downright beautiful in the past.

The one yesterday was at a totally different Parish. They also used Mass of Creation... but the oddity to this one, the Priest sang almost all of the Liturgy of the Eucharist... but not in a chant type way, it was sang with a piano behind him, and it reminded me of some sort of broadway play. This church did have kneelers, but we were told not to use them by the Priest. Then, to top that off, the Priest told everyone to "join hands" during the Our Father, and HE, along with the server, the cantor, and reader in front, joined hands together behind the altar. No orans position from him... just holding hands behind the altar. Reminded me of some sort of "cum-ba-ya" event or something. The plus to this Mass, outside of it seeming like a broadway play, is that they didn't use guitars.

My wife (who is in RCIA right now) was upset by this, for the same reason my mom is upset at things in the Church... no single Catholic Church is even remotely the same or even similar to what I experience at our Parish. She didn't understand the reasoning behind this... and here is the thing... this isn't a cultural thing... we are in the same type of areas (and even the same sister city that shares a school district with our home Parish), same type of backgrounds, etc. I think the closest thing we have found in the area thus far is at my parent's Diocese 2 hours north of here...at their Parish.

I have to think... no wonder there is an issue with the Church and retaining Parishioners. Too much of "everything to everyone" and not enough focused on the beauty of the Mass. Too much have to "entertain" the Parishioners, not enough prayerful beautiful music using the entire catalog of music for the Church, past AND present. I have to wonder if more were exposed to the beauty of Catholic music... how the reaction would be. I only know how it is at our Parish, as that is what I see weekly for the most part. I know our DM gets complimented constantly and people are wondering when our choir is going to be there. And youth, youth are there... prayerfully... and very respectfully. I have spent time in our Adoration chapel, and the amount of teens and young adults that visit there is amazing. Sometimes we just need to escape the crazy busy world we are in, and I find Mass and the Adoration chapel to be a place to gather my thoughts, to calm myself, to connect to God. Not to get entertained or basically get the same thing I can get outside of Mass.