Forum admin, feel free to remove the purple prose or ask me to....

Church Custodian wanted. Part-time - you only have to clean up half the mess, just leave the rest lying there.

This happens all the time in music education: admins want someone who has a Masters degree, at least 10 years of experience, and five immaculate references, but they are only willing to offer .4 time, based on 0 years of experience on the Bachelor's schedule.

Honestly speaking, should these job positions not also include directions to the nearest fast food restaurant where you can pick up enough hours flipping burgers to supplement a half-time salary at the cathedral and diocese?

When I was hired for the job at the Catholic school where I teach, it was assumed that the job would be part time (the person before me was, and did a top notch job, so why should it take a full-time employee?), and the principal assumed that I would go down to part-time at the call center where I was currently working and do both jobs, as well as teach lessons after school. I rejected that offer, and was promptly offered full-time. I know that doesn't always work for everyone, but I'm glad it did for me.

Just to chime in, as someone who is much better (or at least more accomplished) conductor than an organist, who normally keeps an academic day job, if I were in the area, this would be a dream job.

And work at Wendy's to pay the mortgage?

Not trying to be argumentative, but a quick google search shows that the diocessan organist is a professor at Duquesne in the composition dept. It doesn't appear he is full time with the diocese; from what I saw it appears that he is just the organist for most diocessan functions and at the cathedral.

So who is really the "diocessan music consultant" or "diocessan director of music?" The cathedral MUSIC director, ORGANIST, or someone else?

My Cathedral has a similar situation. The director only works part time for masses and rehearsals.

It works well though, because the choir director for the Cathedral (Sunday) and Diocesan (ordination/chrism) choirs is also the head of the Diocesan Office of Worship, so he is full time with the diocese, just not all on music.

The arrangement seems to work well, allowing the office of worship can put an appropriate focus on music when needed. For example, several years ago, the diocese brought in Fr. Skeris to do a chant workshop at which several bigwigs from the big city parishes were present, as well as many of my friends in the traditional contingent as well. Win-win.

So who is really the "diocessan music consultant" or "diocessan director of music?" The cathedral MUSIC director, ORGANIST, or someone else?

I assume the music director is the music director and organist is the organist, but I could be wrong. Go figure, having two people, working together and collaboratively, who already have other jobs they're happy with (probably not McDonald's or Wendy's) who love to serve the Church and are professionals!

Maybe some think this arrangement is not fair to all those people who are searching for a full time position of "music director AND organist," and I respect that, but there are plenty of times I've been frustrated because a job I otherwise would have liked would have required me to give up my day job because they couldn't bring in a part-time organist to play funerals. So, I don't see anything wrong or nefarious with offering two part-time positions if it has developed that way over time for one reason or another. I've been told in the old days, this arrangement used to be far more common. I don't believe they're firing a full-time person and deciding to go this route or anything.

A lot of people in this thread taking pot shots at my home diocese! Shame!

In any case, njgw's assessments are spot on, and the current diocesan organist is a very fine musician and nice guy. The model of director-as-part-time isn't my ideal, but (for someone familiar with the state of music in that diocese) the cathedral has been doing much better music the last year or so. It would be a nice job for someone who only needed a part time position. The bishop is very reasonable when it comes to pay, as well, so I would be surprised if the salary isn't basically full-time. The cathedral is a very small parish, so I'm sure that is part of the issue. As these things work, too, sometimes a parish will pay up for someone they really want.

Wheeling is a great city; it is probably only going to get better as fracking picks up in West Virginia: ever since steel left, Wheeling has had a hard time getting back on its feet. You are also very close to Pittsburgh as well as natural beauty in the mountains of PA, MD, and WV. But then, I'm biased!

melo... sometimes your posts are just incredibly entertaining. That ˆis one of them!

Two thoughts:

Is the Diocesan Liturgist also part time?

Is it just possible that the purpose in listing the position is to remove the onus of providing evil "benefits" under the Affordable "Care" Act? After all, if one is paying based on ...... such a salary would be considerable, even at part time.

Correction: "Affordable" "Care" act.

Bruce L, after reading your comment, WV sounds more and more appealing.
Sounds quiet, with natural beauty, nice people. The cathedral looks beautiful.
Any interest in the EF in or near Wheeling? Homeschool scene?

Have to ask...
Snow?

Church Secretary Wanted
St. Waytoobig is a growing 12,000 family parish located in the sprawling hills just outside of Springfield and is searching for a new secretary. Position requires type-setting the bulletin, answering phone calls from parishioners, maintaining the calendar, and taking notes for the Pastor, Monsignor Difficult. The secretary is also required to unlock the doors each morning at 6am and lock up all doors at 8pm each evening.
Candidates must have a Ph.D. in psychology or M.D. with specialization in psychiatry, be able easily to lift 300lbs high above their head, be able to speak English, Spanish and Mandarin, and be able to play the organ (someone recognized as a Fellow the American Guild of Organists is ideal) in case the Director of Music is hung over. Salary: $22,000 - 25,000 depending on education and experience.

Why shouldn't those who contribute to this forum be able to make fun of all job postings?

Love the pivot.

As I mentioned earlier, my sister lives in West Virginia - Beckley, to be exact. It is a stunningly beautiful area with great people. But they do have some serious winter weather, as in heavy snows. There are a number of my Byzantine cohorts in various parts of the state. We do have a presence there, and of course, in Pittsburgh.

(presumably from his friends)

How do you know he has friends? LOL.

I think this is the rudest comment I've ever read here. Ever.

Pardon me. Should I have written, "presumably not from his friends"? What I wrote was a simple statement of what I presumed to be fact. No rudeness was intended, I swear.

Now your comment, on the other hand---

As Kathy stated, this was not a job posting. It wasn't brought onto this forum for that purpose. It was a thread ABOUT a job posting, specifically complaining about the nature of job postings (and jobs, for that matter).

The "job posting" rules do not apply.

On the other hand, I honestly don't understand the constant complaint about job postings. You might as well complain about how people are stupid and don't know how to use punctuation marks correctly. (Which, is; totally-- true...]

This is just my opinion, but:

I think complaining about something specifically happened to you personally is fine, because sometimes you need to blow off steam or whatever. And I also think complaining about general things is fine if there is some inherent entertainment or educational value there (if you can make a joke, or make a point). But I don't really see the value or purpose behind general "isn't it terrible, there oughta be a law about that" sort of griping.

Apparently people can say rude things without intending them, merely by presuming corruption and voicing one's presumption. Who knew?

Happens ALL. THE. TIME.

When you read something that someone says and you feel like you might be offended or insulted, you should follow these steps...
1. Ask yourself, "Could the person have meant something else?"
2. Ask yourself, "Could the person have intended it as a joke?"
3. Ask yourself, "Could the person think that insulting me is a form of compliment or a sign of friendship?"
4. Even if none of the above apply, and it's a legitimately offensive comment- decide that you don't need to get offended. That's on you, yo.

Why didn't I think of that? It's brilliant! Then Fr. Krisman can be as rude as he wants and no one will ever call him on it. Thanks for the great idea!

@ronkrisman - To the extent my advice was directed at anyone in particular, it was not you. Although, after re-reading, I think I misunderstood what I was responding to. (Them's is the breaks, isn't them?)

@Kathy - We are all, generally, at least as rude as we want to be, and often more rude than we intend.

She? Richard sure sounds like a feminine name to me.

That was purple. Obviously.

It amazes me that the moderator allows this job posting to be ridiculed these past two days, while those he himself has posted (presumably from his friends) are all "discussion closed."
Why shouldn't those who contribute to this forum be able to make fun of all job postings?

Father, really, no one ramped up any serious ridiculing of the post. Isn't it all about perspective? Sure, I was second outta da gate, but if one couldn't detect a "wink wink, nudge, nudge" satirical take, then they've had a funnybonectomy, so sorry. As far as I can tell, the thread continued more or less in that vein, until your statement of indignation. Fair enough.
You might have forgotten, there are not a few serious multiple decades' worth of veterans herein who've not necessarily always been on the same page with you about who holds the upper hand regarding collaboration and collegiality between professional laity and pastoral clergy, most of whom talk about practicing those values ceaselessly from the ambo. Enough said about that, because the last thing we need around here is a p*ssing contest about who's more set upon in that axiom.
And Richard, for that matter, is doing way more good work in the revised schema of the Forum than has ever been applied, and just like in parish work, to my knowledge he does it by choice without compensation. That's how CMAA rolls. And as far as political correctness goes, I can't count the times that I've been rebuked here for presumably trying to mitigate flame wars between folks. It's really like intra-family squabbles, two siblings in each others' face, you butt in, then the whole family turns their attention to you instead. Father, you're family now here. Even before you showed up with your luggage in hand.
I could say "move on, nothing to see here" but, that's not my call. But here, in my experience, our relatives like to sort it all out freely before retiring for happy hour.

For the record, I was not ridiculing- I was (and still am) dreaming about life in quiet, beautiful, friendly WV. Where there is no Gov. Moonbeam, etc. All is not well in CA, hasn't been for some time, and I wonder if I'm on a sinking ship to stay in this state.

I think the original post, as it sparked a conversation about part-time work in our field, and it's reasonable limits, was worth making.
Thanks, Noel!