New Pastor and Social Etiquette
  • Mark HuseyMark Husey
    Posts: 192
    Some of you might have known that my parish was getting a new Pastor, and the announcement came Monday and, personally, I think our Bishop should be nominated for both a Saint and Doctor of the Church. We will have an interim for a few months until our new pastor-elect can effectively "retire" from military service, or at least, that's the word on the street. He's a Chaplain and Colonel in the Air Force and oversees some 50 Chaplains, and he's collaborated with Gary Penkala on his Book of Sung Gospels. http://www.canticanova.com/articles/feedback/art422.htm

    In addition to being Director of Music and Organist for the parish (thanks, Ben, for asking), I co-manage our Parish's Facebook page www.facebook.com/visitstpeters and am the creator and manager of our YouTube page www.youtube.com/visitstpeters (and shamelessly promote them both, yes).

    When is it appropriate to contact the new pastor to welcome him, to be available to assist in his establishing contact with the parish? The retiring pastor sent the parish a letter via US Post announcing his retirement and the appointment of our new Pastor and the interim Pastor. I cannot discern if the interim pastor even has an e-mail address- the diocese doesn't list one.

    Just sit back and shut up and speak when spoken to or be more proactive?

    Thanks for what I'm sure will be a colorful conversation. Blessed Advent to you!

  • BenBen
    Posts: 3,114
    Are you the MD, or just the facebook/youtube guy?
  • Mark HuseyMark Husey
    Posts: 192
    All of the above.
  • canadashcanadash
    Posts: 1,499
    I would invite him to dinner when he arrives to welcome him to the parish. I would do as I have done until he asked otherwise. Perhaps a month or two into his tenure, I would ask if he has any thoughts on what you are doing.
  • matthewjmatthewj
    Posts: 2,696
    If anyone has anything but positive thoughts about Mark's program, they need to be shaken. :) or stirred.

    Just be NILCKy and you'll be fine.

    You were taking notes, right?

    As far as when to contact him... if he's from out of town, wait til he gets in town. It is easier to communicate then and if he's desperate to talk to you before that, he can find your number.
  • Mark HuseyMark Husey
    Posts: 192
    Thanks, Matthew. I know he's busy finishing up an assignment now. I also know how I was somewhat chagrined that my choir wasn't more communicative before I got to Columbia. I also know that the real nut cases put their voices in first. AAH! Maybe just a short "Merry Christmas, glad you're coming" kind of thing...
  • JDE
    Posts: 588
    For what it's worth, I would suggest a short communication that says "I know you're busy, but here are my contact details, welcome to the parish, come for dinner when you get settled." That can't be harmful and will still separate you from the nuts who want to put their oar in before he's even stepped out of the boat.
  • Kathy
    Posts: 5,500
    Wait till he arrives. He's wrapping up loose ends and it's Christmas, so let him do his thing and then even when he arrives, don't rush it. Be there, and positive, from the beginning, but wait till he arrives--and then wait for trust to develop.
  • Kathy
    Posts: 5,500
    Although, what might be great, is if a priest that both of you know gets the three of you together for dinner out somewhere. That might work. But unfortunately imho anything else will is liable to make him uncomfortable, and that's not what you want.
  • Mark HuseyMark Husey
    Posts: 192
    We're hosting two AGO events and I'd planned a concert afterwards. Not sure of when he's arriving, I wanted him to know about that. So I sent him a short welcome letter. Plus, our church's e-mail server is for crap. If he wanted to be in touch, nobody would get his e-mail. *sigh*
  • Musicteacher56
    Posts: 621
    We had a change in pastors about 18 months ago and everybody just allowed him to settle in before beginning anything social. He called each of the staff into his office for individual meetings and, it was at those meetings that we were able to get to know him, and him us, and discuss his visions as well as the status quo. As far as music, he made his opinions quite clear and dismissed most of what was common in the parish (OCP) and replaced it with all chant and hymnody. It was a very difficult transition that continues to be challenging.

    It takes a long time to establish trust between pastor and community, especially when the former pastor was beloved. But, baby steps.

    Best wishes and Merry Christmas.
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