I've seen people go to Mass in clothes I wouldn't garden in. But that just reflects on them. Worse are the young ladies who dress with care...to show as much skin as they can get away with. I'm not young, and happily married... but I'm not THAT old!

Purple, I must admit that while on vacation I have gone to Mass in "rustic" attire that I would not have chosen otherwise. I attend a great Catholic camp with my children and mass is often in shorts and t-shirts.

That being said, a couple of times a year, when someone is outside their normal routine and doesn't have access to clothes is one thing, but, in my opinion, to be dressed in flip-flops and jeans for your child's First Communion just lets the child know that this is a one time deal. It makes the impression that the "First" Communion is the one time that matters, when every time we receive Christ, it matters. How can one be surprised when at a regular Mass a teenager chooses his t-shirt which has vulgarities strewn across the back and the young woman wears shorts with "babe" written on them. Yes, I'm thankful they are there, but that isn't all they own is it? I'm not saying that they have to be dressed to the nines, but I do think it is the parents' responsibility to teach their children the sacredness and importance of the Mass and I believe wearing appropriate, clean, simple, modest clothing is part of that responsibility.

One day though, I want to come to Mass after a great campfire in the Mountains! Ahhhhh!

I'm always too busy looking at the music or the altar to notice what someone's wearing.

"I love it, because all of these people could be somewhere else, but they chose to come to Mass."

Everytime I'm tempted to judge someone, I think along similar lines.

Actually, the one time I saw "SEXWAX" on the back of a young man's t-shirt, my then 8 year old son, whom I homeschool, pointed it out to me because the man was the last person in line for Communion. The young lady with "BABE" written on her shorts was standing in the coffee line after Mass. I'm trying not to judge (but aren't we all fallen in some way?), but I homeschool, stay out of malls and avoid buying magazines to keep myself and my children away from this nonsense and yet I go to Mass and am exposed to it. I don't generally notice flip-flops and jeans but it was their daughter's First Communion, so understand Teacher's point of view.

I think that appropriateness of dress is a problem in many places. I try not to judge the average people in the pews, mostly they are ok, but occasionally the problem comes up with one of our Extr. ministers of Holy Communion. I wish it were that they were wearing their hiking gear or flip flops but the problem we have is short skirts!!



(PurpleSquirrel - I am really curious where you are because I am from (and have family in) a mountain town just outside a Nat'l park, and we will be visiting in the near future...)

This was in our bulletin this past week ...

Father Chuck’s Column Bulletin, April 21, 2012

Alleluia! We are in the Easter Season and so still celebrating the triumph of our redemption.

It takes a full 50 days to celebrate this victory appropriately. Alleluia! I was struck by the large crowds we had on Easter Sunday. It was wonderful! I was also struck, especially at the 5:30 p.m. Mass on Easter, at the large number of people who attended Easter Mass in T-shirts, shorts and flip-flops. I found that rather disturbing.

Now all people are always welcome to our church, and unless it is truly outrageous or immodest, we are happy to have people come to us as they are dressed. God reads our hearts, not our outfits. God knows one can certainly go overboard on concern over dress and get into not-very-subtle completion over dressing up. I remember one choir director who I worked with in another state who could tell you a week later exactly what each lady in the congregation wore the previous Sunday. I was amazed by such feats of memory, but to me that seemed an over-concern with dress.

There is a significance and meaning to clothing, especially for a big feast – and Easter is the biggest. Dressing up is important. It is part of engaging in the feast. The priest wears special robes, the servers and the choir members don special garb and traditionally the congregation, as participants, would put on their “Sunday best.” Dressing up is part of participating in the Mass.

Going to Mass is NOT like going to a movie, where you are there to watch and hear the action. The members of the congregation at Mass are not spectators, but participants. As participants it helps to “dress the part.” All of us together are doing something special and significant: worshipping the Father, giving thanks through Jesus the Son and rejoicing in the Holy Spirit. Our inner attitude is most important, but it is shown forth and reinforced by how we present ourselves: how we stand, how we sing, how we participate and by how we dress.

I know that when I get dressed up, in my rabbi (a formal priest’s collar) and black suit, or in a white shirt and tie, I feel differently about myself. It is a reminder to me that this is not just plain-old slouch around time, but that I am engaged in something a bit more formal and significant. It affects the way I feel.

Dress helps convey and re-enforce a sense of identity. When I was in Guatemala in January and we went into the uplands around Lake Atitlán, the native peoples largely wore their traditional dress. The Tzutzuxil people are able to afford modern, Western clothes, but they cling to their traditional dress as a way of preserving and holding onto their sense of identity and tradition. No one forces them to do it; rather they do it to maintain their cultural heritage. They value that heritage and so work to maintain it.

Our culture seems impoverished in comparison. We have much, much more in way of material goods than the Tzutzuxil people of Guatemala, but in another way, in culture and identity and appreciation of family, they seem richer. When I see all the people coming to Easter celebration in shorts and flip-flops, it strikes me as an example of cultural poverty. So that is my take on it, and I hope it gives you something to think about.

God bless! Fr. Chuck

I apologize for riding the hobby-horse hard, but all this negativity does not help the cause of dignified music and liturgy.

Has anyone else ever had the experience of not having something "suitable" to wear to church, and staying home out of shame that you might be seen in jeans and a t-shirt? Or just not feeling like dressing up, and so staying home on Sunday? I've had both experiences.

Or there's the time I was exploring Paris in the summer, walked by a beautiful church, and went to pay it a visit. Big sign on the door in four languages: "NO SHORTS." I walked along my way in my clean khaki shorts. I don't think they missed me in there, anyway.

I don't know about all this "don't judge" stuff. If we're going to do good and not do evil, we have to make judgements about what constitutes good and evil in the situation at hand. We have an advantage over some religions in that we don't have to figure out for ourselves what "harms none", but have clear information in Scripture and Tradition; there really aren't many grey areas. Now, we don't want to judge PEOPLE, because we don't know what their situation is or what motivates them. But we're so concerned with being perceived as judging people that often we don't stand up for what's right. Granted, if you mention to somebody the wrongness of an action they're doing, they will probably feel judged. But it's also an opportunity to change behavior.

This is particularly an issue with EMs. Does the priest "wear something cute" when HE delivers the Eucharist? Then why should the ladies? What's wrong with business attire? If the guys are lining up to receive from the hottie, "they have their reward already". And it's not just a personal incitement to sin that this creates; it has the added ripple of discrediting the notion of female EMs (and that's EXTRAORDINARY MINISTERS of Holy Communion, folks, not people serving every Sunday)...which I'm sure is something the ladies involved wouldn't want to do.

There is a Cuban priest at my parish that always tells everyone
"Pobres pero decentes" = Poor but decent!

I definitely agree with you Gavin, but in respect of that, I will say this, everyone on here is so hellbent on making "good liturgy, gregorian, etc.. etc.." and don't get me wrong, I love it, but my thought is this. You can dress up to go to a wedding, you can dress decent to go to a funeral, you can dress to go to parties, beaches, etc.. etc.., but you mean to tell me you can't be appropriately dressed Sunday after Sunday! I'm sorry. I don't buy it. I realize there are people that have situations, and yet, I have been to some poor places in South America, and yet they seem to manage to make it dressed to be respectful to the most Sacred Mass.

A lot of people on this forum want to save the liturgy by proper music, proper this and that, yet you want to half *** it when it comes to being appropriate to mass. I'm sorry, again I don't buy it. If you can't at least make an effort to dress decent, doesn't mean you have to be in a suit and tie, but decent, then thats flat disrespectful to the "REAL" presence of Christ in the sacrament. In my 32 years, I have gone to mass twice in jeans, and do you know how ashamed I felt. Very ashamed! Knowing I could have done better. I can recognize you being on a trip, and wanting to pop in at a church, perhaps your in shorts. Ok, but Sunday after Sunday your popping with "Babe" "Got Milk" Hooker heels, barely a t-shirt on, flip flops. I'm sorry, again I don't buy it.

I don't sit there and judge those poor souls every Sunday, but they do need more catechises. We should be taught to give dignity to the most precious body and blood of Christ. When I was younger, I remember never even thinking about crossing past the tabernacle and alter, without a showing of respect. Today?!?!? Most people run all over the church, walk past the tabernacle, with no respect, most Catholics don't even really think the host is Jesus in "Real" presence. Its the, yea, yea, sure mentality.

and you want to clean up the music???? Uhhh, how about cleaning up the other elements as well, that detract from a clean liturgy.

I will say, I was very shocked and surprised to see this very beautiful young lady at one of my masses, wearing a veil. She is in her early 20's. I just about fell off the organ bench. One day she approached me to join the choir. I gladly accepted, and had to thank her for renewing my faith that yes, there are still other young people that see the importance of showing Jesus respect in his house.

I'm sorry to come off harsh,, but I just feel that if you want to clean up the house, you can't just do it to one thing, and call the rest of the house "liturgy" clean, without properly devoting time to each element.

God Bless You and Yours!

I do not agree with the mentality of "just get them in the seats, no matter what". I am certainly not in a position to judge anybody. I cannot, however, advocate people coming to the HOLY sacrifice of the mass dressed in the same manner as they would a fishing trip. I can certainly understand a limited clothes budget, but there is no excuse in my mind for people just throwing on "whatever" to make it to mass, even on vacations. If a woman has blue jeans and a t-shirt, surely she has a skirt tucked away someplace. A man does not have to wear a jacket, but he does have to keep his t-shirts home. This thread began with my thoughts on parents who came to their child's First Holy Communion in jeans with the child dressed beautifully. If they could dress their child, then they certainly have something proper tucked away in their closets. In many cases, it's just a matter of choice based on a very complacent attitude that is being hid behind "well, I'm there, aren't I?"

He gave His all and we should strive to do no less in love!

That is the best quote I have run across on this topic.

May I spread it far and wide?

Thank you, Abbot, for confirming our less than perfect natures as not an excuse for not simply striving. That was my point. If the parents were able to dress the child appropriately, then they should have been dressed, also.

That's exactly it, Wendi. I admit, I've beet to a few Sunday Masses in clothes that were less than flattering (cough cough ...gym shorts and tee shirt...cough cough), but it was in the middle of a long road trip. We all have exceptions, and I don't think anyone but the most hardened dress code warden would turn away people for something like that. But the problem is, most people have the means to wear dress clothes on Sunday, or even have them in their closet already, but don't wear them. Even for those who are not so well off, you can get nice clothes to wear to Mass if you want to.

Seriously, the suit I wear for weddings, holy week events, prom, and even the occasional Sunday Mass was bought at Goodwill, and it looks great. $6.99, if I recall. Certainly not more than $10. And the dress shirt? $3. Tie? about another $3. Even if you skip the jacket and just go tie-shirt-pants-socks-shoes, almost any guy should be able to get what they need for under $20.

There's really no excuse not to dress well. Have a gaming system in your house? You can get dress clothes. Have a fancy cell phone? You can get dress clothes. Do you EVER buy fast food ANYWHERE? You can buy dress clothes...

And another word about Goodwill...one of the seminarians in our diocese really enjoys dressing up (suit, hat, vest, pocket watch, cuff links, you name it), and where ever he goes, he looks sharp as a tack. He recently said he gets nearly everything from good will, to everyone's surprise. So it can be done.

Where are these people going to vacation that they're not at least going to wear a jacket/shirt/tie (and female equivalent) to go to dinner? A vacation without a restaurant that requires a jacket doesn't sound like much of a vacation...

Just wear the dinner outfit to church.

Or splurge and bring two nice outfits.

Matthewj, When we are rustic camping (The kind without portajohns) I don't bring the boy's suits. They wear Khakis and a golf shirt because those don't need to be dry cleaned. So I can see that exception. The girls and I tend to wear Khaki jumpers with a 3/4 length sleeve t-shirt underneath on those occasions. Again because they are wash and wear.

It all goes up to the top. If the clergy doesn't set a good example, than why bother, right?

A little off the topic, but in the same court as this is, have you ever noticed that when a priest actively participates in singing, the congregation tends to follow his example? I have been fortunate to work at a few very good parishes, where the priest was not in a overwhelming hurry, hymnal in hand, singing/chanting, and actively participating. Recessional hymns, allbeit, not a "part of the mass", I have noticed that when the priest would stay and sing, a vast majority of the congregation would participate as well.

I have equally noticed that when some priests would hurry up to the altar, no interest in singing, and couldn't wait till your finished, such were his disciples as well. It all boils down to the examples we set, must be set from above, for others to follow.

I love when the priest sings, but Monday night at my choir rehearsal one of the singers actually asked me to ask him not to sing because "that's our job". Where did this mentality come from? The congregation does not sing anything any more...not even the mass parts, because the music "is boring". It's been pretty difficult here, that's for sure.

@musicteacher56, the next time one of those smart intellectual choir members, makes a remark like that, let them them know that due to poor job performance, their position has been eliminated. Thanks for your service. lol :O)

I often have trouble following and handling dress codes I like the requirement for choir robes. dont have to worry about looking nice underneath. but the robes do that job. Thanks Marajoy I feel comfortable to be required to wear choir robes as a uniform for mass.

HAHAHA!!! THAT was funny Melo!

Be conservative in what you do, be liberal in what you accept from others.

As the title of this thread says, "just venting" - I don't think anyone is judging anyone, just sharing stories. I, too, am glad that people choose to come to church no matter how they're dressed, but I don't think there's anything "judgmental" about reminding church goers that they are coming into the presence of God and to dress with care.

I'll share my own story (with humor). One of our Crucifers is a high school student and very active with the youth in the church. He was Crucifer for the Feast of the Presentation, and his Presentation in the Temple this particular Sunday was that his usual sandy blond hair had been dyed hot pink. Hot, neon pink. I don't mean highlights, I mean his whole head of hair. It was a 'bit' distracting even to me as I'm playing the organ and see this out of the corner of my eye. And the fact that he's wearing the white robe draws even more attention to it. This guy is always modestly dressed and groomed well. Not the sort of thing you'd expect from him, so idk if he lost a bet, or what. But I think it's commendable that he takes on the roles that he does in the church, pink hair or otherwise.

But sad since he does not understand the gravity of his responsibility in the act of carrying the Cross...a simple NO from the priest was called for and it is sad that your priest failed to act.

He is to be anonymous carrying the Cross for the entire congregation who, due their number, cannot all carry the Cross. So he takes their place and draws attention to himself instead.

This was a teachable moment and the priest dropped the ball. Sad.