losing a choir leader
  • mamaherrera
    Posts: 26
    I am a "under 20 hour" a month supposedly choir director, just leading two choirs, their rehearsals and masses. And prepare and organize triduum and such. The other choirs have volunteer leaders. But now one is backing out and so now that choir has one vocalist. Some people are saying I should step up to the plate, but having a husband and four children, three masses every weekend is too much, risking being burnt out. What suggestions do you all have?? Having her do acapella, announcing, etc. but do you think it is my responsibility to have to take on all those masses, only being paid $15 an hour???
  • Absolutely not.
  • Liam
    Posts: 2,874
    "Some people" other than you need to step up to the plate.

    Generations ago, Emily Post came up with the universal etiquette widget for the meek to refuse to do something that other people were trying to exploit them to do: the basic idea is to simply say, without any drama, "I'm afraid/ I'm sorry but it's not possible." Repeated ad nauseam as necessary. The idea behind this response is to refuse to explain how/why it's not possible, because explanations invite negotiation. This is not "Non Serviam".
  • CharlesW
    Posts: 8,075
    Don't do it. You will burn out and not be happy.
  • canadashcanadash
    Posts: 1,184
    I am in a similar situation. I have chosen not to concern myself over these things. My family is my first priority. It doesn't even matter if I had a pay raise, I still couldn't do it. I do my best at the masses I direct and leave the rest alone.
    Thanked by 1tsoapm
  • Kathy
    Posts: 4,572
    I wonder whether you could make this a win-win.

    If they want you to take on more responsibilities, and they would consider raising you to a 30 hour /week salaried position with considerably higher pay and benefits, would this be overall good or bad for your family?

    It seems to me that you are in a position to negotiate.

    Thanked by 1Don9of11
  • mamaherrera
    Posts: 26
    Thanks to all of you. We just lost our pastor (he passed away) so we will see what the new one suggests, but a salaried position, while it would be nice, I doubt it happening. If they would value us more. Thanks for the views and advice and understanding.
  • Jeffrey Quick
    Posts: 1,258
    The other choirs have volunteer leaders. But now one is backing out and so now that choir has one vocalist.


    I know you didn't mean it this way, but I find this humorous. Is there really only one person in that choir who can sing? Or one person who makes pitched sound with their larynx?