A Recent Lesson I Have Learned, and my New Years Resolution
  • Adam WoodAdam Wood
    Posts: 6,451
    Stop trying to help people who do not want to be helped.
  • JulieCollJulieColl
    Posts: 2,465
    Ouch. Sounds painful, Adam.
  • Adam WoodAdam Wood
    Posts: 6,451
    Only in the aggregate.

    My wife and I were discussing this last night, and wondering if maybe it isn't EVERYBODY ELSE. Maybe it's us.

    Same solution, though: Stop it.
  • melofluentmelofluent
    Posts: 4,160
    Love ya, Little Joe, but that resolution seems antithetical to Christian teaching and gospel values.
  • francis
    Posts: 10,668
    Pray the rosary for those in need. It has the power to even rescue souls from hell.

    ADD: Even those on the path kicking, screaming and determined to go there.
  • Adam WoodAdam Wood
    Posts: 6,451
    If the robbery victim had punched the Good Samaritan in the face every time he got near him, I suspect said Samaritan would eventually conclude that the robbery victim could probably manage on his own.
    Thanked by 1Jani
  • MaryAnn Carr WilsonMaryAnn Carr Wilson
    Posts: 1,738
    Tough calls in this area. Much prayer is needed to balance the scales of love between respecting people's free will and patiently helping people who are caught under depression and/ or self-destructive behaviors.

    My dear Mom is a widow of 17 years. She recognizes her depression and accepts some help, though not as much as I offer. Still, if I didn't offer anything I shudder to think where she'd be. Please pray for her.

    Sometimes it's worth it to be a pain in the rear. Sometimes it's not- people genuinely don't care and time that could have gone to others is wasted. It's so hard for me personally to weight all this. It's always good to back up every perceived need with prayer, and Francis is right about the powerful prayer we have in the rosary.
    Thanked by 3melofluent JulieColl CHGiffen
  • melofluentmelofluent
    Posts: 4,160
    MACW's account was my thought as well.
    I will probably, eventually go into Alzheimers' or some other dementia's twilight. If I escape the velcro bonds of my Lazyboy and wander the byways starting fires (I hate fires), kicking cats and dogs (I love them) and head for the Sequoias (I'm a city boy), and I don't wanna be "assisted..." trust me, the old me wants Christian charity.
    For every rule, an exception. For every moral dilemma, a Christian answer.
    Thanked by 2expeditus1 CHGiffen
  • JulieCollJulieColl
    Posts: 2,465
    Melo, that conjures up some great mental images! I don't know what's better, going out with a whimper, or going out with a bang.

    There are stories of my Granny Smith who was confined to a nursing home for dementia, but at age 90 somehow contrived to escape her 2nd floor bedroom by making a rope of sheets and was discovered later drinking and gambling at the local casino.

    Maybe it's better to be like Ronald Reagan. I always remember Edmund Morris saying of his onset of Alzheimer's that "he just simply . . . stopped" and quietly faded away like the old soldier he was.
    Thanked by 3melofluent expeditus1 CHGiffen
  • Adam WoodAdam Wood
    Posts: 6,451
    Since I started the thread, I guess I can let it drift off-topic...

    I once knew an amazing elderly couple, the husband of which had Alzheimers. (The wife was just regular crazy.) They were hilarious. He had been a dance instructor aboard a cruise ship (a fact he informed me about every time we met), and they spent their dotage dancing and drinking martinis.

    I was doing some financial work for them, and I had strict instructions from the wife that I had to come for business before the drinking hour began (and stay until after it had begun).
  • MaryAnn Carr WilsonMaryAnn Carr Wilson
    Posts: 1,738
    Now that's a job!! Awesome
  • JulieCollJulieColl
    Posts: 2,465
    they spent their dotage dancing and drinking martinis.


    There are far worse ways to spend your twilight years!
  • JulieCollJulieColl
    Posts: 2,465
    It has the power to even rescue souls from hell


    Interesting that you say this about the power of prayer, Francis. I remember having a profound discussion with my high school headmaster when I was young wherein he explained the amazing power of grace and how your prayers always have an effect even post factum since God can foretell that you will pray for a certain person or event even if it is years later and will apply the effects of your prayer to the person or situation. I asked my pastor about this as well, and he confirmed that this is valid soteriology (hope that's the correct term.)
  • WendiWendi
    Posts: 638
    Dragging the thread (kicking and screaming no doubt) back on topic...Little Joe, sometimes your first instinct is correct. Some people truly don't want to be helped (or educated) and in those situations it's best to give them their wish. In other cases, all you can do is what you can do, and that's ok too.

    And no for the record...it isn't you. This culture in general is so toxic and the values of it are so out of whack, it's more amazing to me that there are as many people like you still around.
    Thanked by 2Cailín Ceol Naofa Adam Wood
  • CharlesW
    Posts: 11,933
    A lesson I have learned is to not make new year's resolutions. If I did make them, they would be ideas I couldn't accomplish last year or the year before. Maybe they were not practical ideas to begin with.

    Anyone who has been a school teacher has been in the position of trying to help a student or parent who just didn't want help or any change in their condition.
  • Cailín Ceol Naofa
    Posts: 38
    Sometimes the only help they will "receive" is our prayers. I pray for them or pray rosary for them always praying #1 that God's will be done in their life and #2 that they be open to God's will in their life.

    ADD: it is frustrating and challenging though, to try to help when you can see they need help.
  • Kathy
    Posts: 5,499
    Thomas Edison's first patent was for a vote-counter. Turns out legislative bodies prefer to haggle things out slowly and inefficiently.

    There's a moral in there somewhere.
  • David AndrewDavid Andrew
    Posts: 1,204
    I believe the term of art of the Church in this matter is "vincible ignorance."

    We can pray for the stiff-necked, but if God has hardened their hearts it is best to just walk away from them. Pray for them, yes, but walk away.
  • francis
    Posts: 10,668
    Does hardness of heart reach into the neck or vice versa?
    Thanked by 2expeditus1 CHGiffen
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